Our Greatest Adventure

Chapter 7: 23 Weeks & Preparing

When I woke up the next morning I was grateful to be alone. Jai had left close to 4am to be on set, but he still made sure a healthy breakfast was waiting for me when I woke up. As I munched on toast, and eggs I called the one person who could keep a level head. Recounting dinner with Jai last night, I could already gauge Mae's reaction. She was my best friend because she never said what I wanted to hear, but instead what I needed to hear.

"It's unfair that he's planning on proposing knowing your hesitation with marriage," Mae started off, I could hear papers rustling in the back ground. "But I understand where he's coming from. To him a stable home is marriage and children. To you marriage is an institution, and unnecessary for a relationship."

"He had the nuclear family that I always wanted; his parents love him unconditionally. So I get why he wants to get married, but I've seen what marriage can do to people."

She was silently, I'm sure carefully picking her words. "But I mean this is Jai, Amelia. He's not the kind of guy that hides his feelings. You always know what he's thinking, and since you started dating he's always been committed to you."

"But it's not even him I'm worried about, it's myself. A lot of the issues I have begin with me, and I recognize that."

"Have you thought any more about the therapist I suggested?" She asked, even though I could tell she wasn't sure if she should.

I nodded, "I have an appointment with her when I get home. She also suggested we Skype Jai in on a session or two."

The smile on her face could be heard over the phone, "Good. I think that will be good for you."

"You know, I know what my issues are I just don't know how to overcome them. Like how do you deal with a mother and father who neglected you, and come out it a better woman?"

"This therapist deals in cognitive behavioral therapy. So she's not going to just have you do all the talking and let you go. She's going to give you strategies, which will be helpful."

Again I nod. "I just don't want this woman to force me to have a relationship with my mother. I'm not interested in doing that. I just don't want to feel the weight of her anymore."

"You know speaking of your mother, have you told her about the baby?"

"Not me personally, but she knows. Well at least Riley knows. She sent me a card in the mail."

"She's reaching out to you Amelia. Your sister wants you to acknowledge her. I'm hoping you responded back."

Laying back on my bed I thought of my 12 year old sister, and how none of this was her fault. She didn't cause my mother to turn her back on me, and she certainly wasn't the reason I left home. Though back then I probably did put most of the blame on her. As I got older I realized Riley wasn't my enemy and that despite being raised by my mother she'd turned out pretty cool.

"Yes mom," I chuckled. And there it was the whole reason I loved Mae, she was my maternal figure. "We text sometimes and I did call her back and thank her for the card. I just don't want my mother to know I have a relationship with my sister. She'll blow it out of proportion and just assume it means I want one with her."

"Has she ever said why she wants one now? After all this time?" Mae questioned.

Sighing, I run my hand over my belly. "She had a health scare right around the time Jai and I broke up. They found a mass on her breast, but it turned out benign. Now Riley says they go to church more and mom stopped working."

"Hmmm well that makes sense then. But you don't have to have a relationship with her if you don't want to. You don't owe her anything. I do think it's good you're connecting with Riley though. You never know when she might need you."