Don't Try That With Me (Outdated)

Best Frenemies

( A/N : This chapter is all in Dan's POV. Next is in Phil's POV.)

Dan's POV

I ran away as soon as he kissed me. It wasn't because I didn't want him or because I found it disgusting. Just the fact that I didn't want him to be contaminated by me and my ugliness. A guy like him deserves a better person. Im just... Not it. I'll face him later. Right now all I need is to get home and drink a bottle of wine. Yeah... drunk and not conscious.

I eventually got home and ran up to my room. I didn't care if anyone was home or if they heard me but I slammed my bedroom door shut and locked it. All I could do is cry. Regretted leaving him like that but... Let's be honest. I will hurt him. My reputation must be kept and I will not allow silly things like love be in the way. The only love I'll have is sex.

Searching around my room for some alcohol but no luck so far so I go downstairs. Luckily no one was home so I took three big bottles of wine and headed back to my room. I happily drank all. Eventually I got drunk and I don't remember what I did. But whatever it was ended getting me a hickey and a note on the wall saying 'call me'. Don't know why, don't know how I'm naked in my bed, cum stains all over my bed and more importantly my mom knocking on the door.

"Faggot! Faggot, wake up!" I sure as hell didn't want to see her so I went to the bathroom (I have my own), got ready and went out the window.

My trip to school was a bit lonely since... He wasn't around or one of the whores that would usually be with me. Waiting for me in the front entrance of the school was Phil. Although his outfit was different, he was acting all flirty with girls and guys. Just like I usually would.

"Oh hey, Howell. Been looking for you." He put his arm around me and started walking.

"Why?" Was all I managed to say. His look seemed a bit... Mischievous.

"Well... I was thinking of how you ran away from me yesterday. I wasn't your type? Do I need to get more slutty?" He said with a joking voice. But something tells me he's serious and sarcastic at the same time.

"I'm sorry about that. I'm not used to kissing boys." All I could do is lie. He looked a bit sad for a moment but then he grinned at me.

"Ahhh... Guys aren't your strong point. Got it." He sounded a bit disappointed. I was still uneasy since this isn't the weird Phil I had talked to before.

"Well... I have to go talk to Chris now... Bye." He said and ran to Chris. I get why he's like this now... But I feel bad... Ugh. Deal with this after school.

I took all my classes, obviously he sat next to me but no eye contact... No talking just silence. Tense silence to be exact. I ate my lunch alone. No one noticed me... Nobody cared. After all, I looked like a lonely emo in a corner. I took this opportunity to go cut in the bathroom. Although I didn't expect to see...

"Ahh... Harder Phil!" Yelled Felix, a senior whom I detested with all my life. I saw a bit of Phil's pelvic movements... And I was seriously disturbed. I just left, quietly, cautiously and heart broken.

I couldn't bare to take my last remaining class so I just skipped it. I didn't realise anything. All I was centered on doing was finding the nearest place where I could scream and shout without anyone around. I did find it. A calm abandoned park.

While I walked around I found a little house. It was pretty and seemed to be cozy. I entered and even though it had mold, it seemed more of a home than mine was.

"I HATE THIS WORLD!" I yelled as I punched the wall repeatedly. I ran to what seemed to be, a long time ago, a bathroom.

*Trigger warning* (Please don't read if stuff triggers you)

I took out my razors from my pocket and started cutting. Not deep, good enough. Afterwards I just cried for hours. No one called me. No one cared. Even the one person I thought might be my friend left me. And it's all my fault. I deserve worse... Much more worse... But not now... Later...

-- (much better... still warning...)

I woke up, dried blood all around my arm. I didn't have the energy to move... So I just stayed there. Pondering 'life'. If you take the f its lie. Then I got what life was. Life is a very very cruel lie. The one that can either harm you or cheer you up. But lets be honest. If I died my mom would be happy. Phil wouldn't cry. Dad would be glad. Everyone would be so much better... Heck, I'll be happier.

(Ahahaha Damn triggers)

I cried and I cried until I fell asleep again. I had a dream. He was there next to me, telling me it would be better. But then he gave up on me and left me... Before he left me all I heard was 'You're worthless'. I woke up crying. I continued crying. That's all I could do. Eventually I had to leave, I knew that. But who said that for a few years I couldn't run away.

But I remembered... I could just die. That'd be running away and never facing this hell again.

-- Skip to next day -- (minor triggers here and there)

I got up to buy a journal and some shaving razors. As I was walking to the park I noticed... Him... Felix had his hands around his waist. And that was the last thing I needed. I walked, hoping that he didn't spot me. Whether he saw me or not. I didn't know. All I know if that if he did, he decided to ignore me and thank god he did.

I never did get hungry. And that's good. This way I can not gain calories and lose weight. Anyways, I saw this doll in the house. It had like a lock. I searched around for the key but I didn't find it. But what I did find was a remnant of a newspaper indicating that this building burned down. Later repaired but due to insufficient funds, the park had to be closed down.

--
Im sorry for the lack of updates. I feel like shit lately and... I couldn't figure out how to not let it show but it did show so...

-Anina