Chapter Four:Wrong Place, Wrong Time.

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I woke up and Tony was gone. Great. I roll over to see a note on my night table. I pick it up and read it slowly.

Alexis;

Sorry I left, I had band rehearsal with the guys. I totally forgot. I didn't want to wake you up because you looked so at peace and cute. Well I'll come by later.

Xoxox. Tony.

I smile and trace my finger over his handwriting. His writing is neat, so delicate. I just can't help but feel like the only reason he's being so sweet to me is because he feels bad. I'm just one of those fans with a hard life and an emotional story. Maybe that's what he does, he sticks around for a little and makes them feel better about themselves then once they're strong he just leaves!

I couldn't handle all this bullshit anymore. For once I'd like to feel wanted. I get up and walk into the living room to see Adam putting his shoes on. "Hey, you're finally awake. Tony told me to tell you that he made some pancakes and they're on the stove." Adam says with a smile. "I don't fucking care Adam, don't you get that?!" I shout. He looks at me and he puts his hands in his pockets. "Alexis, listen. Don't push him out of your life like you did with everybody else. It's not fair, he just wants to be in your life so don't be so stubborn." He says. He looks at the ground then back at me. "I have to go. I'll be back later." He turns and leaves just like that. Just like everybody else.

Payton kept texting me and telling me that I was one lucky girl to have Tony, but that's the thing, I don't have him, he's not mine. He's just a guy who feels bad and eventually will leave.

I walk over to the stove to see turtle shaped pancakes. I pick the plate up and throw it at the wall with the pancakes still in it. I watch as the plate shatters to pieces and the pancakes fall into the shattered mess. I open the fridge and grab a bottle of whiskey before returning back into my room.

"Here's to falling for his bullshit!" I mumble to myself before taking a huge swig from the bottle. Memories flow into my head like a river flowing with fresh spring water. "They never loved me, they never cared!" I scream. I'm such a mess. Who gives a fuck right?

My phone continuously goes off and won't stop. "SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I scream as I throw my phone at the wall. It breaks into pieces just like the plate did earlier. I finish half of the whiskey and I decide it's not enough. I don't feel shit, not even a buzz. I finish the rest of the bottle and throw it across the room. "Fuck you dad, you fucking nasty pig!" I shout. "I was just a young girl and you took my virginity! Is that how you got mom? By raping her and dragging her into your fucked up life!?" I'm just screaming at nothing. This is all useless.

My existence is a mistake! A huge mistake. My mom always use to tell me that the only reason I got to see the world is because she forget to take her pill! I shouldn't even be here! Why am I? My ex even told me I was a mistake, he told me that after he killed the baby I was pregnant with. He raped me twice and after two months I found out I was pregnant. I tried keeping it from him but he found out and pushed me down a set of stairs. It killed the baby instantly.

I remember everything like it was just yesterday. I can't stop myself from thinking about it all. I slide down the wall making me sit on the floor. I bring my knees to my chest and I cry.

I don't know how long I sat there and cried but I know it was for awhile because my bedroom door opened and in came Tony. "Alexis?" He says worriedly. "What do you fucking want from me!?" I yell. He walks further into the room and looks around. "Are you drunk?" He asks. "Yea, I am. What are you going to take advantage of me like everybody else!?" I scream. "Alexis, you're just wasted and thinking about the past again." He says as he walks closer.

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