The life we always wanted (2)

Chapter Nineteen: Light or dark?

Emma's POV

"Freya, when you were a little baby me and your daddy wanted to find something out about you. Something that would secure your future and who you would become when you got older." I started to explain. "So you wanted to find out stuff about me?' Freya asked. "Yes, only we were looking for something specific. Freya.... We wanted to know if you had magic." I day tearing up. "What? But that's impossible." Freya gasped. "I know it seems like much. But we went to Camelot and got a prophecy of a very wise man. He said that you are the product of the truest love and that you would have the lightest magic in all the realms. But..." I explained "but what mommy?" Freya interrupted. "But we didn't want to tell you until you discovered it yourself." I continued. It was also a lie. I was going to tell her about the darkest potential but that would be too much too soon on her.

"So I have magic? I could be dangerous?" Freya asks. "No, no I'm going to teach you how to control it. Then everyone will love you and no one will have to fear you." I smiled. "I trust you mommy. On one condition, no more secrets." The eight year old asks me. I froze. I can't tell her, I promised Killian I wouldn't. But now I would be promising Freya there was no more secrets. What one was going to hurt the most?

"I promise..." I lied. I was turning into my parents. Lying about the darkness. "Okay mommy. Thank you for being truthful." Freya says as she hugs me again. "Okay, how about you go down and get Liam and open the presents the guests got you at the ball." I say holding back my tears. "Send your daddy up as well please." I say as Freya walks out the door.

I immediately cried. I couldn't help it. I was becoming a untrustworthy parent and a liar. The two things I didn't want to become. I felt horrible thinking it but I was becoming just like my parents. And that thought kept going through my head over and over again. They lied to me about my darkness and now im lying to my own daughter about hers.

Killian walked in and saw me crying. "Emma.. Love are you okay?" He asked walking up to me. I lost control of myself. I couldn't control my thoughts. I got angry. "Go away!" I shouted. This isn't me. I didn't say that. "Emma, what's is going on." Killian asks. "Are you deaf? Go away. Honestly I don't know how I loved such a worthless pirate like you." I snapped. That wasn't me. I can't control it. I'm hurting the people I love. "Emma!" Killian gasps. "This isn't you snap out of it." He continues. He kisses me and i take a deep breath in.

"Killian, im so sorry I couldn't control myself. I didn't say that please don't leave me." I said taking a panick attack. "Emma, Emma your okay I'm here. I know it wasn't you it didn't sound like you. I would never leave you." Killian smiles trying to calm me down. "I'm so sorry." I cried. "Shhh. Its okay, maybe you were just getting worked up about everything and got angry and lost control." He said. I rested my head on his shoulder. "I don't deserve you. Your so forgiving when you shouldn't be. If it was anyone else they would have left me ages ago." I said. "Emma, I will always love you and forgive you." He replied. It made me smile. No one had ever loved me like he did.

-- a few days later --

Me and Freya were in the ballroom and I was going to reach her about her magic. "Now the key to embracing your magic is to love yourself Freya. The good and the bad. A friend of mine told me that." I explained to her. "Do you have magic mommy?" Freya asks me. I freeze again. Its not the right time to tell her. "Of course not silly. Just my friend did and she said that's how she embraced hers." I lied. "And did it work?" Freya asks. "Yes and now she can control her magic." I smiled.

At the end of our little lesson I managed to help her control the magic very briefly and read over some books with her too. "Soon, you will know all of these spells and you will use your magic to help others." I explained to her. "And everyone won't fear me?" Freya asks. "Nope everyone will love your magic." I hug her. "I love you mommy." Freya says. "I love you too."

Authors note: I didn't go into school today as I'm really sick still. So I'm writing lots of chapters to pass time. How did you like this chapter. Major twists coming up. Sorry it was all Emma's POV