I am not perfect, nobody is. But even when I was high spirited and was working on myself to be a better person, I got distracted from my path and I got lost and wandered around. I made mistakes, many ones.. and went against my principles.
And because I tend not to lie, I will say the truth as it is..
When I was admitted into the English departement I was indeed so happy, that I finaly got to study what I truly love..
Studies were about to start so I hang out with my friends one night to breath in some summer's air that was about to say farewell to us. I was feeling so good, a feeling that I had never felt before. I Looked in the mirror to see a reflexion of a stunning young lady, and I felt at that moment that all those awfull years were nothing but a nightmare that had ended. Although I felt pretty, I had had not a thought for a single man.. I felt free! Therefore, my smile was brighter than ever..
I hang out with my friends, enjoying just their company and not having the slightest thought of impressing anybody..
While we were at the amusement park, I met my older sister's friend and she was glad I chose English Literature for she always encouraged me to study it. Suddenly she said that she was waiting for two boys that are like her little brothers and she said that they were graduating from English departement that year, so she suggested that I meet with them in case I needed help from them in my studies. I warmly welcomed the idea, because I had no friends and wanted to make ones in that university..
They came, one was plain but the other was a tall handsome boy. When I greeted them, not to lie, the way he looked at me said it all. He liked me.. and because I felt something too, I lowered my gaze, I needed to ignore that feeling, to ignore his look. Therefore, I didn't talk to him much, and turned to talk to the other one, for he represented the safe option.
We spent a lovely time all together. When I said that I was heading home, he felt down and asked me to stay more, but I politely declined, and said goodbye and went my way.
Two days after that night he added me on facebook, his first message was "Finaly!! I found you.. you're so hard to find". I felt flattered but yet in danger. I knew that it will lead to no good if I stayed in touch with him.. but yet I stayed..
Day after day I got attached to him, and longed to talk to him more. He asked me once about my 'love life' but my answer was 'I'm not a relationship material', 'Relationships aren't made for me'.. I didn't know why, but I added 'so don't you ever think about asking me out'..
Well.. my warnings did not stop him from making me fall for him. He was indeed clever, and with his looks he seemed to have a history with girls and well aware of how they think..
I don't remember what we quarreled about one day, but I just remember that it was my fault and felt terrible about it and asked him how I possibly could make it up for him. Of course I should have seen it coming, him asking me out, but just my sense of guilt made me say that; or maybe I was well aware that he was going to ask me out, and felt good about it.
He asked me to pay for dinner, and because I had never been in a relationship and I didn't know much about it, I didn't consider it a date but just a way of apologizing.
So we met, 'there he was, a tall, handsome, good looking, well dressed, young man waiting for me' I said to myself. Not to lie, I hoped if time could stop right there at that moment, because I was just like any other girl, still attached to fairytales and prince charming. And right at that moment he seemed a prince charming to me. I felt like I was finaly the heroine of a story..
I tried to act normal, like I was hanging out with a girlfriend and not a boy. But just after meeting him I realised that it was a date.. the worst thing is that I didn't mind it, but actually felt happy..
Real life relationships aren't like fairytales, aren't like movies. They give us high expectations; they ruin ourlives. Dear readers, do NOT get attached to Romantic movies, do not believe those stories, and most importantly, do NOT expect a prince charming!!
