'Challenges are what make life interesting.. and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.'
- Joshua J. Marine.
That year taught me a lot. It gave more faith, and it got me to trust God more. I knew I shouldn't have let depression get me, but somehow that shock was the reason I woke up..
I learnt how to be a fighter, a confident girl and to accept myself the way I am.
I was wrong in my thinking, and felt quite guilty for thinking of such a silly thing as taking revenge that way. In fact, of revenge at all.
So, again came the time of deciding what to do. And once more my mother chose!!
I guess I wasn't confident enough, not quite yet.
And honestly, I wasn't confident about choosing English Literature, for I was poor at it and not an eloquent speaker. So, I let her once more decide my path for me.
Her choice was Economics, and so I grant her wish once more..
That university was awful, I hated it, hated it's structure, students, professors, I just hated everything about it. It was a university for just social and fashion geeks to attend. I wasn't one of them
I grew confident after that incident, but I didn't grow confident enough to handle that university.
So, again it was a very hard year for me.
But then I had this overwhelming feeling that I made a huge mistake and that I should follow my heart and do what I would feel comfortable in doing.
And so I did..
I applied for a 'free bac' and I passed the tests again. Fortunatly, I succeeded. And I was both happy and confident now that I got to choose for myself what I would like to study, and in the same time keep studying Economics for my mother's sake.
I was happy too because I finaly got a clear, clean face. I felt like my life was about to get better, now that I almost had what I always wanted..
The irony here, is that some of the boys that used to bully me, rather insult me, actually fell for me. And they had no idea that I was the same one that they had bullied through high school..
I felt somehow satisfied seeing them running after me, but then rejected them politely because I had no intention in taking revenge..
I had to fight myself, fight the ideas that I used to had, I had to keep close to God and my religion, so it could save me from falling into sins.
Some might understand me, and some might not understand. I see a relationship that is neither approved by parents nor by God a sin..
I wasn't willing to fall in love, nor just kill time with some loser. I wanted to be who I am. Be confident, yes. More courageous, of course!! But I never wanted to go against my religion..
