When I was a little kid, an adult told me that whoever dies before reaching puberty enters heaven. Well, I don't remember who that person was but he definitely needed to be slapped by someone before saying that to a seven year old. Because that one thing he told me as a child affected me in a very bad way when I started growing up. In fact, it affected me right at the moment he told me that..
Since he told me that, I lived my childhood thinking about death. Death became a part of my life. I saw it everywhere, Isaw it while crossing the street; I saw it before going to bed each night; I saw it while playing with knifes; it was haunting me everywhere, that I even used to try jumping in front of moving vehiculs. I hoped for death to pay me a visit each day before reaching puberty.
While hoping so, I made sure not to do a single sin, for sins would make it a bit harder for me to go to heaven. I tried to read every 'hadith' of our prophet (pbuh) and tried to be as good as I can; good to elders, good to people around me whoever they were.
And whenever I made a 'sin' ( what would a seven year old do and consider it a sin? ), I'd put my little hands towards the sky and pray with bitterness and ask to be forgiven.
Of course a part of my childhood was normal, playing around with kids, school was also normal. But what was going on in my head wasn't; I felt that I'm years older than kids my age. Because I was thinking of death much, I always had the idea that I would be dying soon, so I needed to be mature, I needed to think of bigger things..
