I have never failed before in my studies. This failur came like a strike, it hit me like a thousand punches. What made it harder was them! Was what they did..
It all came to me, them, the bullying, my naivity.. it seemed that the universe was against me.. and I lost conscience of everything surrounding me..
At that moment of experiencing failur I went through a severe depression. I did not cry, and I did not say a word.. I remained in bed for weeks, it was like I was in another world, to the extent that I wasn't able to tell where I was. When I opened my eyes each morning, I saw my mother sitting beside me and weeping, her voice seemed so far away eventhough she was sitting right next to me.
I wasn't even aware of what she was saying while crying, only heard few sentences; 'I'm begging you to cry..' , 'please say a word.. just one word to your mother'..
I wanted to, but I couldn't. I had no voice. I had no idea what was going on..
I used to hear voices in the house, but wasn't able to tell who was speaking or what they were saying.. the voices were more like echoes.
A month and more passed like that, and I wasn't even aware of time..
But one morning, as soon as I opened my eyes i jumped out of the bed like a crazy person. I went to my mother room, woke her up and started crying, she just hugged me and let me cry as much as I could.
I cried for hours till my eyes puffed and I couldn't cry no more.
After it I went back to my room and I got shocked.. shocked when I saw myself in the mirror. I nearly didn't recognize myself. My face was so thin and dark circles were underneath my eyes. I was scary to look at.. while looking at the mirror, everything came back to my memory like a short film, from when I was a kid till what happened recently..
I could tell at that moment that when I jumped out of the bed I was a different person already, a person who was ready to face everyone, everything, starting from her own misery..
