Light Heart (ON HOLD)

-2

I'll take you back a little while. How far back though? I want to start from the start but that could be too much.

How about the day the results came back, that's a good start.

I had just got out the shower and I was drying my long black hair in the bathroom mirror when my mobile rang. I'd left it in the pocket of my jeans that had been discarded on the floor. I bent down and fiddled around getting my phone from the pocket, it was Katie, my best friend.

"Yo, Katz." This was our normal greeting.

"Tash?" She said shakily from the other line, I could tell she was crying.

"What's up Katz?" I asked whilst pulling on my dressing gown.

"There's something I've not told you." she said slowly, "Recently I've not been feeling too good and I've been tired and I've also been bleeding quite a lot."

"What is it, Katie?"

"Mum said it wasn't normal so we went to the doctors and they sent me to have a biopsy and -" She broke out into heavy tears and I didn't know what to say, I didn't even know what a 'biopsy' was.

"Katie...?"

"I have Acute Myeloid Leukaemia." She said with a croaky voice.

My throat began to ache and I was holding back my tears, it was strange how news could hit you like that and bring out emotion straight away.  My eyes began to swell up and my face lost all colour.

"You're not dying...?" I stopped myself, but it was too late. I kicked myself. What an in-sensitive question, what if she was dying and I just reminded her, but what was done was done and I hate to say it but I was eagerly awaiting her reply.

"It's too far on."

"How long?" Once again I kicked myself. I heard a loud sob and a beeping noise, showing that she had hung up on me.

                School the next day, Katie wasn't there, I didn't expect her to be though. I didn't concentrate. I couldn't. I just sat in my lessons tapping my pen on the desk and barely listening to Mr Collins going on about Shakespeare. The bell rang to signal the end of the lesson and I was the first to stand and the only.

"Miss Rivera, please sit down." Mr Collins said in his friendly yet strict tone. My face went pink and I quickly sat back down as Mr Collins handed back out our marked homework. As he came to my desk he lingered for a moment and said "Stay behind after class"

As my classmates poured out the room I walked up to Mr Collins desk and stood facing him.

"You're distracted. Why?" He asked.

"It's Katie."

"Oh, yes, I got an e-mail from the head telling me to keep an eye on her." Mr Collins gave a sympathetic smile.

"I just don't get why it has to be her." I explained.

"Bad things happen to the best people." Mr Collins attempted to make me feel better.

"That's not good enough."

"Everything happens for a reason, Natasha." Mr Collins went on.

"Stop reciting sayings to me. Words won't make her better." I began to yell.

"Sit down, Natasha." He pointed his pencil to the chair in front of his desk. I sat and wiped my eyes.

"My sister died of leukaemia when we were kids, it was so hard for me, it was un-treatable. You've got to understand that you're not alone and that this isn't about you. Stop making it your problem. It's about your friend, Katie, so instead of making it about you, show her that you are there for her and that no matter what you'll always be there," Mr Collins said "I wasn't there for my sister, I was in denial about it all and my one regret was not sitting with her and helping her through those last few weeks. When she died I refused to speak to anyone I had this guilt like it was all my fault and I put this massive weight on my shoulders and made myself think her death was of my doing. No one knows why these things happen but they do, and you need to be there for her. The e-mail said she doesn't have long left. Be there for her."

I cried.

"A light heart lives long, Natasha. If you were paying attention you'd know that William Shakespeare wrote that in Love's Labour's Lost. Just remember that. A light heart lives long." Mr Collins tried out a reassuring smile.

"What does that even mean?" I asked him through tears

"Google it." He handed me a tissue.