pain ☹☻ {r.m + l.f}

two•

R. I. L. E. Y.

The first day of school is always the hardest. For me because my feelings are scattered everywhere. My heart isn't mended, it's crumbling even more. I'm scared to open these doors, these doors where everyone will look at me and remember me.

Breathe in and out Riley, you can do it. I had to convince myself that I'd be alright but I know I'm lying to myself. I can do this, I have to.

I push open the doors of John Quincy Adams High School and automatically lose colour in my face. I see stares coming from a couple of people, some don't even acknowledge me. As I walk to the office to get my schedule, I hear whispers.

"I thought she was pregnant..."

"Didn't she get expelled?"

"She's gotten uglier already,"

Those comments made me feel more and more insecure. I looked down at the ground so no one could meet my eyes. I knew I shouldn't care what others think of me but I still do. I still feel like I'm not worth it.

I get my schedule from The office and realise i have History first. My dads class. When i told my parents i needed to move to another school, they burst. They probably hated me for months. I'm still surprised they even let me.

I don't even look up when i walk i just keep my eyes fixed on my schedule as an excuse. I don't even take a glance up. It's the nervousness impacting me. I don't want to feel weak, i never want to feel weak. It isn't fair.

I don't even try to look up which is a big mistake because before i know it I'm being thrown to the ground as i collied with someone. My body hits the ground and it hurts a lot but all i do it keep my eyes on the person.

Lucas Friar. With all my old friends trailing behind him. What a great start to the day. I bite my lip to conceal myself from letting out the tears when seeing him. I hold back the urge to cry and tell him I've missed him. I fight back the urge to kiss him and tell him I've never stopped loving him.

"I- I'm so sorry." I say as i scramble to my feet. He lifts up my arms and i stand across from him. He has hardly changed, just a bit taller. He is still the Lucas i know, i hope. His green eyes bring back memories and i gulp down the tears.

"Riley?" He asks in a soft tone. "Lucas," i breathe in to stop my self from suffocating in the tension and the over flow of memories. All of my closest friends come up next to him with there mouths wide open. I push back a strand of hair behind my ear.

Farkle. He had definitely changed the most. He has this edgy look that i never saw him have. He looks taller, more muscular. Zay has hardly changed. By the looks of him he still looks like the natural funny guy i knew.

Maya. Maya, my best friend. She is still short, long blonde hair, beautiful eyes. She is still pretty. She looks happy. That's all I've ever wanted. Then why am i not happy?

"What are you doing here?" He asks as he furrows his eyebrows, looking me up and down, examining my every move ment. I don't blame him because i know that if i was in his position I would want to know if anything had changed. Which it definitely had.

"I, uh, decided to move back." I simply say, giving him a soft smile. Maya entangles her hand with his like she's trying to say, 'back off, he's mine now. You blew your chance'. Which I pretended not to take notice. But i did, as usual.

He just stared at me, like everyone did, but there seemed to be much more than that. He seemed to take notice of me, not just the outer but the inner. He's trying to put the puzzle pieces together, i know him too well.