pain ☹☻ {r.m + l.f}

eight•

That night i went home thinking about everything. In this world there had to be balance. At the moment life was tipping over for me. Which means there had to be balance. And I'm waiting for that balance. I'm waiting for life to grant me my happiness, even if it may take an eternity.

Why would Lucas think I deserved the world? Do i? I guess i have to figure that out.

I walk into History and set my things down. A few students are here talking to each other like close friends. Some are talking in whispers like someone's going to listen to their conversation. I'm sitting, not doing anything. Thinking.

Maya walks in a minute later and my eyes avert to her. I can't read her face. I'm not sure if she's sad, happy, angry. I don't understand why her face is emotionless.

"Hi, are you okay?" I ask her as she's still in the doorway while i look at her questioningly. She rolls her eyes and then sits down at her usual seat next to me. I'll take it that's she's annoyed.

"I don't know, Riley. Are you okay? Because apparently you weren't yesterday." She says with a tinge of disgust hanging from her words. Ouch.

It's like she's changed completely. She's not my best friend anymore. And i feel as if I'm alone in this world.

"I—" i start to say but Maya does me the absolute pleasure of interrupting me.

"You were off stealing my boyfriend? Yeah, i noticed." She says and i fight back tears that threaten to fall down my face. I turn away from her as everyone else arrived in the classroom including dad a minute later.

I don't want to think about what she said during History. But i do. I overthink it, just like I overthink everything else.

-

I walk out of my dad's classroom as fast as i can to avoid anyone but i hear him calling my name. I quickly put my stuff in my locker.

I turn around and see Lucas signalling for me to come over. He's around his 'group', or what used to be my closest friends.

I breathe in and straighten out my red, simple, short dress. I changed back to my old style recently. It still doesn't feel the same but i like what i wear.

I walk over to them and greet them with a fake smile. "Hey." I say and Lucas is the one who replies. "Hi." And before i know it we're staring at each other with Zay looking at us with confusion and Farkle with his eyes widened. Let's not forget about Maya, who looks like she's about to vomit.

"Lucas we better get going—" Maya says as she interrupts our lovely gaze. He shakes his head. "All of us have free period, except you." He says as he makes sad eyes at her. She frowns.

"I know, you're going to miss me so much." She says and he simply smiled and she kisses him on the cheek.

After she leaves everyone turns to me. I look at them weirdly.

"What?" I ask. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because you're beauti—"

"Lucas, you've already used that on me." I laugh and in a second he does as well. I forget about the thing Maya said to me in a second but it comes back to me right after.

"Am i missing something?" Zay asks as his eyebrows furrow. I shake my head. "No, nothing at all. Can i hang with you guys? I'm not sure where Charlie is." I ask nicely and they all nod. I also wanted to change the subject. Awkwardness was always the worst. For me especially.

"So what is up with you and Cheese Soufflé? Are you dating or—" Farkle asks and i reply ever so quickly. "We're not dating. I don't like him like that." I say truthfully.

"He sure likes you like that." Lucas says and Zay laughs. "Jealous are we?" And Lucas chuckles. "Shut up, Zay." And i blush a bright red which causes me to look away from them.

"Ooh, Riley's blushing. She must like Lucas." Farkle says and all my insides scream. Because i do like Lucas. No, actually I don't like Lucas. I love him with all my heart. I was in denial for who knows how long and I've come to the circumstances where I just have to admit it to myself.

The boys laugh and I roll my eyes. "Please, i do not like Lucas." I say.

"Awww come on, you love me." He says as he puts his one arm around me. I smile at him because i do love him. I love him. But I can't just say that.

"Sure." I say sarcastically. His arm around me is what is making me tense. I mean, come on, have you seem the muscles? This is god's work and i think we should all appreciate his arms.

"Come on, Riles. Admit that you like me." Lucas says as he takes his arm around me and i frown, but soon cover it up with a smirk. He stands in front of me with his arms out, reaching out for a hug.

I do a dramatic sigh. "Fine." I run and literally jump on him which even makes me surprised. A new found confidence suddenly sparked inside of me and I loved the feeling.

He & I didn't even realise what happened till i realised i was on top of him. He looked at me and we both laughed. We stared down at each other for a while when I realised that if Maya saw this she would probably beat the living crap out of me.

I got off of him, and he still laid on the ground. I rolled my eyes at him and stretched out my arm for him. He looked at me and then to my out stretched arm and took it. I smiled but then my face was just saying panic all over.

Lucas pulled my arm causing me to fall on top of him again.

"What was that for?" I ask as my face is inches away from his. He smiled widely at me. "I like this position. It's comfy." He admits and i raise my eyebrows at him. "Now who's the one who loves me?" I say and he looks at me in awe.

"Pffffttt. No. Okay. yes. Fine. You win." He says and we laugh. I'm laughing. I feel alive. I feel like i can do anything. My heart pounds and my head hurts but I don't care because I'm with him and he's here with me and everything's okay.

I roll off of him casually and we lie next to each other in the middle of the freaking hallway.

I look at him and he looks at me and we both just start cracking up because we're looking at each other and it's not even funny.

"You know, we look like lunatics." I say and he nods his head. "At least we're good looking lunatics." He says, winking at me and i giggle at his comment.

We just lay there, for god knows how long. I'm still surprised that no one has stepped on us. They're probably at their classes so it makes sense that the hallway we're in seems like a ghost town.

"Where's Farkle and Zay?" I say as realisation hits me. Lucas shrugs, "they probably left. I mean what were they gonna do?" He says and i laugh.

I stand up and he reaches his arms up. "No, I'm not helping you this time." I say and he groans in frustration as he gets up.

"Why am I friends with you again?" He ask and I reply, "I ask myself the same question everyday." I fake smile.

Friends. Nope, still hate it.

-

Idk what this is but i felt like writing some goofy rucas so here it is. I've put you guys through such an emotional ride so I make up for it by giving you happy Rucas bc who doesn't love happy rucas?

So, I'm honestly the most disorganised person on the world so you probably wont be having another update soon.

xoxo - Tay