pain ☹☻ {r.m + l.f}

ten•

Very very very short chapter I'm sorry but I'll probably update later this week as well as Supernaturals chapter 6 and Huntress (which is next week).
Okayyyy love youuuuu <3

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His words stung me. Every moment. Pain shot through my body as we had this terrible conversation. My head heart, and all i felt was heart ache.

"I'm sorry I kissed you on the cheek. I don't know what got into me. I was probably worked up about Maya and Josh." He says softly as i felt my eyes burn. I swallow and reply.

"Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal." I say like it didn't hurt. I fake smiled to cover up my sadness that was lurking.

"But it is a big deal. Maya didn't deserve it I'm sorry i led you on. Still friends?" He smiles at me. I felt tears rise in my eyes and i just smiled.

"Till the world explodes."

He left and i sat there, not moving. Just sat there. Staring off into space from his punishing words. It felt like my heart has just been shattered all over again. And there was nothing i could do. Nothing.

I let a single tear drop fall from my eyes. Nothing more. I wanted to cry, i really did. But I couldn't. It wasn't worth crying. Because no matter how many times i cry, no one could truly save me from this sadness I'm feeling. This sadness that just won't go away.

I rub the wetness off of my face and leave Topanga's. It was a horrible idea meeting him here. If i knew my heart just got ripped out of my chest I wouldn't have came. But i did because i am an utter idiot who thinks that i could ever have happiness. But i can't.

I walk out shivering. I rub my shoulders to become warmer but it doesn't work. My teeth chatter but I don't care. I just keep walking.

"Riley?" I hear a voice say. I turn around to see Farkle looking at me concerned. "Are you okay?" He asks as he takes his coat and puts it over my shoulders like a protective brother.

I take the coat off of me and hand it back to him. "I'm fine." I say the same lie I've been saying my whole life when something is wrong. He shakes his head. "No, you're freezing take my coat." He says but i still decline.

That is until i feel warmth around me. Another coat had been placed on my shoulders and once i turned around i saw who had been so kind to me.

"It okay, Farkle. I'll take it from here." Charlie says to Farkle who looks at me with worry but i just nod my head. "It's okay, Farkle." He gives me a small smile and heads to where ever he's going. I didn't want to waste Farkle's time, especially when he's been trying so hard to get to me and I keep pushing him away.

"Thank you." I say to Charlie who doesn't seem to be cold at all. He smiles widely at me. "Anytime. I know it's the cliché move but—"

"But, I don't care because I'm grateful." I say to him as we walk. I guess that means he's walking me home. There isn't anything wrong with Charlie, it's just this context of moments is do freshly new to me with him.

"So why are you walking here all alone on the streets of New York?" He asks all cheery. Charlie's always been the one to be happy and nice and caring.

"I was talking to Lucas." I say truthfully and he frowns. Was it something i said? "And he left you without a ride?" I bite my lip and answer with my voice cracking.

"I guess so." I say while all my insides rip into pieces. "He doesn't know what he's missing out on." Charlie says without hesitation.

I look at him with a warm smile. Not fake like I usually do, but a real warm smile. "Thank you..." I say as my cheeks blush red. I never usually accept compliments but this time i felt like i could.

"Anytime. I told you, I'm here for you." We stop in front of my apartment. We stand in front of each other, not knowing what to say. What do i say? 'I don't know what you're trying to do, but I'm kinda sorta in love with Lucas Friar, the guy you conveniently hate with a burning passion.' Perfect.

"Thank you for being a great friend, Charlie. I've been having a few rough days and i needed this." I say one last time.

One last time before it happens.

One last time before it feels like I'm crashing down again.

One last time before he caresses my cheek and slowly leans down to place his lips on mine, surprising me by far. I kiss back, feeling the need.

But it feels wrong. Maybe because it is wrong. Isn't it?

"Riley?" I hear the one voice that makes me want to cry. That one voice that shatters me into a billion pieces. That one voice i had been longing to hear. That one voice that ruined me.

"Lucas?" I say once i pull away from the kiss with Charlie. He looks at me with no emotion. Nothing. Just stares at me with his head tilt slightly, eyebrows furrowed. Charlie looks wildly uncomfortable as we just stand there.

"What are you doing here?" I say after the really uncomfortable moment of silence. He blinks, surprised to see that he just saw me kissing Charlie Gardner.

"I felt horrible for not giving you a ride home so i just thought that we could have a movie night, just us two, but i see that you're busy." He says as he doesn't even look at me anymore. Just at the ground.

"I, uh, better get going. See you later, Riley." I give him his coat back not feeling as cold anymore. Charlie gives me one last peck on the cheek and walks away. Leaving me to this situation.

"Um..." I say as I look at Lucas, not knowing what to say. It feels like I'm falling apart when i look at him.

Did he ruin me? No. I ruined myself. Just like i ruin everything i touch.