GODDAMMIT JAMES! (NovaHD)

Chapter Twenty-Four (FINAL!!)

///TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE\CUTTING///

             ***Aleks' P.O.V***

I sat down in the chair placed on the side of the table closest to the wall. As I waited, the anxious feeling inside of me grew bigger and bigger; causing my heart to speed up rapidly and my palms to sweat. I looked around the room, fidgeting anxiously and glancing at the officers pacing up and down the aisles between the tables.

The families in there looked so happy even the members of the family that were stuck in this place, they were all smiling and laughing like nothing was wrong. Maybe their families and friends could forgive them... But I can't forgive him... I will never forgive him.

I was about to face the man who ruined my life. Because of him, I'll never be okay. And because of him, I'll never be able to trust another human being, fully. I felt my eyes get watery, but I pushed back the tears. "I can't cry," I told myself, I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing me like this. I have spent too long delaying this, I need to show him I'm much stronger than what he thinks.

I sat looking down at my hands but then I was interrupted by the deep voice of an officer saying my name, "Mr. Merchant." I raised my head to see him... Just sitting there in front of me, with the most psychotic smile plastered on his face. "Hello, Aleksandr," he said mischievously. I felt my body tense up and I was on the brink of tears. His voice replaying in my head. In the way he spoke, I could tell he didn't regret what he had done. He laughed while I sat in silence, but something wasn't right, it didn't sound like his laugh. The laugh was so sick, so twisted, only that of a madman would have.

I felt myself slipping into regret of coming to see him. My stomach felt like it was tied in knots. "You came here for a reason. Just get to it, you pussy," I told myself repeatedly. I will not let him see me cry. I will not let him see me cry! My heart raced as I open my mouth to speak, hands still sweaty, I felt my limbs grow weak as I spoke his name, "Hello, Seamus."

                                ~~Flash Back To Four Months Ago~~

          ***Seamus' P.O.V***

I had isolated myself in my house for a while after Jordan left me. I was sad and alone, I didn't leave for anything. The crazy thing is, no one came by, not one of them asked if I was okay. "Well, fuck them," I said to myself.

This is the first time in a while I've been alone with my own thoughts... I had forgotten how terrifying they really were. They were just filled with so much pain and hurt; inflicted on to others, the ones that I love.

I don't even know if I mentioned, I guess Jordan and Aleks distracted me from it, but I sometimes experience really crazy urges, like committing murder or just hurting someone. Of course, these urges were suppressed and never acted upon before. My mom used to call me a psycho, but I don't think I'm psychotic and I don't want to believe that I'm capable of murder. I haven't killed anyone or anything ever.

I sat on my bed just crying about Aleks. I wanted him to be mine so badly, I put my own relationship in jeopardy. No amounts of sorry could undo this terrible thing I've done. I thought I loved Jordan... But I don't think I even did. I think he was just a distraction; an illusion to forget about Aleks.

I had my head in my hands as the tears coming from my eyes, started to make them wet. But after awhile the pain turned into rage and anger; I was furious. My mind suddenly made sense of my anger. I want Aleks. Nothing else but Aleks.

               ***Alek's P.O.V***

I heard the front door close, I sat in silence, staring at the dark, laminate floor, tracing the ends of the strips of laminate flooring with my feet. As my boyfriend's footsteps grew louder, as he got closer. "Hey, babe. It's late what're you doing up?" he said walking over to me and kissing me on the cheek, "I just am thinking," I said. James plopped down beside me, "About what? Me?" He giggled in a school girl anime kinda way. I smiled to myself, still looking at the floor. I could feel his stare; loving and concerned. I turned to him and hugged him, "It's nothing."