The way she makes me feel

You've Changed

"Ow" I groaned in pain as I turned to shut off my alarm I decided to go to work extra early I needed time to think.
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I stared at myself in the mirror as my water was heating up in the shower I couldn't do anything but cry and look at all the bruises Nicole has put on me. I heard a very gentle knock at the door I knew it was Nic this was the first time she's ever put her hand on me I didn't know weather to face her or ignore her so I went with my gut, I opened the door slowly and cautiously "I'll be out soon, I promise." I said scared that I was going to get turned into her punching bag again. She just stood there and looked at my body I was scared I backed up into a corner curled up in a ball closed my eyes tightly waiting for my fate all I heard was soft sniffles "I.....I.....I'm sorry." Nicole said breaking down shutting the door, I just sat there the cold tile against my back was comforting. Finally I mustered up enough courage to take my shower the hot water stung as it hit my bruises I winced in pain the pain was unbearable I had to get out I looked in the mirror once more and let out a big sigh as I walked out.
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I put my head in my hands "Where did I go wrong?" I asked myself. I wiped my eyes I heard the guest door opened I seen Camille walk out she looks so tired , hurt, and scared. I had to leave so I just left for my best friends house without saying a word.
"Aye Ryan are you up?" I yelled as I walked in her house. "Yes I'm in the living room come in man." She replied back I walked in she looked at me and chuckled "Man what's wrong with you?" She asked "I beat Camille.....I don't know what came over me but I couldn't stop." I replied looking down twiddling my thumbs. "YOU DID WHAT?!" Ryan yelled at me "I tried talking to her today but she crawled in a corner and balled up, when I'm around her she jumps she keeps her head down and she's very quiet." I told her "You fucked up what you did to her is unacceptable let alone what you did to Bre. Bruh you're out of control this is not my best friend I knew from our childhood days. Go talk to her at least try because this shit isn't cool." She replied patting my shoulder. What am I supposed to say to her when I get there .

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I got home my ears were filled with the harmonizing sounds of Emeli Sande "Clown" I could tell she was sad and hurt but I didn't know what to do at this point I've never put my hands on a female before and I'm surprised that I did this time. I started to walk into the guest room I seen Camille laying across the bed with her eyes closed her cheeks were stained from all the crying she's been doing I felt disgusted that I was the reason of her tears. I walked up to her cautiously terrified that she won't talk to me I took a deep breath and started to talk "Camille?" I asked lowly she didn't respond I seen more tears stream down her face "Camille please say something to me" I pleaded she opened her eyes they were as red as an apple she sat up reveling all the bruises she had on her body she was all purple and black her abdomen had foot prints on it as if she's been kicked "Did I kick her?" I asked myself mentally she had a black eye, busted lip, and a red mark on her face. I wanted to cry looking at what I did to her I felt ashamed there wasn't no logical reason for me to put my hands on her. "Yes Nic?" She asked trying not to cry "Can we talk please?" I asked almost begging. "I'm listening." She replied. "I'm sorry for my actions lately this isn't the real me." I said to her looking down. "Who gave you the std? Were you with me at the time? Why did you hit me?" Camille asked cautiously "Some girl I met at a club a few weekends ago it was more of a bathroom hookup type of thing. No we wasn't it happened right before I asked you to be my girlfriend. Everything was building up inside of me and I was trying to be cool about it but when you started asking questions I started getting aggravated and mad and I took my anger out on the wrong person and most definitely wrong way." I said looking at her trying to read her emotions towards what I said. "Nicole I really like you but what you did to me isn't forgivable. I can't walk around scared that you're going to get mad and use me as a punching bag. These few days have been hell from to contracting an std to this." Camille said pointing to her face with tears flowing down her face. "Camille I'm so sorry. I can do better I promise please let me make this up please Camille." I pleaded to her she looked at me closed her eyes and laid back down and started listening to Monica "Don't Take It Personal" "I'll think about it." Camille replied. I walked out with my head down and sat on the couch and cried first I lost Bre because of my selfishness now I may lose Camille because of my cockiness and anger.