The way she makes me feel

But I love you

Days like this I love being around Nicole we're sitting on the couch cuddled up laughing at a movie she has her hand on my thigh I'm nestled under her arm I close my eyes and her cologne invades my nostrils making me think of all the happy days we shared until she started drinking I immediately started to get clouded with thoughts of her beating,dragging, and kicking me yeah I know why didn't you leave Camille? It's not that simple it's never that simple I love her I feel like soon she'll change at least I hope she'll change. "Babe are you ready for dinner?" I ask her she smiles "Yes beautiful."
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I notice Nicole frown at her plate I know it's not my food because I can cook my tail off! "What's ......what's wrong?" I ask cautiously "Why am I such a fuck up? I mean I lost my best friend now I'm beating on a masterpiece that was crafted by God himself." She said looking up at me I blushed shyly. "I have demons that are trying to take over me I need to fight them but I can't I always turn to alcohol and using you as a punching bag. I can't talk to Bre because the way I treated her when we was together she wants nothing to do with me. I need help and I realize that now." Nicole said looking at her plate I didn't realize I didn't put my phone on silent as I was about to speak my phone went off everything she just said went out the window she had nothing but rage in her eyes "WHO TF IS THAT CAMILLE?!?!" Nicole yelled getting up going to my phone I didn't move I didn't have anything to hide it was the travel agent calling about our trip to New Orleans that was supposed to be a surprise for Nicole. I was deep in thought when I felt a stinging numbing sensation on the side of my cheek I realize she threw my phone I looked at her with nothing but fear in my eyes as she stormed closer towards me she pulled me by the hair throwing me against the wall I fell down guarding my face she started to kick me repeatedly I knew if I didn't fight back it didn't last long I looked up at her it was as if her eyes were black and had no emotion towards what she was doing to me she started to punch me I winched in pain I knew she busted my lip and blackened my eye. I closed my eyes as tight as my body would allow me to brace for the rest of her hits but she stopped and picked me up taking me to the room laying me on the bed apologizing for what she did I didn't want to believe her but I love her so I did anyways "I forgive you." I said lowly getting up going to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and cried how did I let myself get to this point where a girl controls me I used to be so strong I mentally scolded myself the water in the shower seemed to take forever to warm up but as soon as it did I got in crying out in pain the hot water against my bruises was hell.
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I slowly got in the bed curled in a ball my mind gets invaded by thoughts as to why I'm her main target tears start to moisten my pillow I cry silently afraid I'll be beaten again.