Nobody Likes You When You're 23

Oregon

I had just got up, and stared at the red numbers on the digital clock beside the bed. It was 9:30, and Mark was still in bed. I kissed him on the cheek and he didn't even move under the pressure that my lips put to his cheek. While he was asleep, I decided to cook and maybe clean. I got out of bed slowly, not waking him surprisingly. The hard wood floor creaked under my feet as I entered the living room. After I shut the bedroom door, I was home free.

I walked out and started looking through the groceries I bought, I bought pancake mix, eggs, and other breakfast foods. I smiled as I sat all them down in front of me. That's when I heard a knock at the door, it scared me to the point where I jumped literally. I took a deep breath and gave myself a pep talk as I walked toward the door. This was one time I really really appreciated having a peep-hole. I stood on my tip-toes looking through it because for some reason this peep-hole was made for people who were like 7 foot tall. When I looked out it, I saw Ashley. She was standing there shaking and her eyes were blood shot. I unlocked the door and opened it enough to where I could talk to her.

"Ashley what happened?" I asked looking her up and down, seeing visible bruises now.

"I got jumped on my way here." Her voice was different than normal due to the fact she was still crying. I let her in and followed her to the living room. We sat side by side on the couch, the first awkward silence in forever fell between us. "E-Embee." She said weakly, I felt awful just looking at her.

"What?" I questioned just staring at the mess in front of me.

"I'm so happy you're in LA now." She just hugged me, so tightly. I threw my arms around her too. I felt her warm tears hit my shoulder. But then it hit me, Mark and I planned on leaving.

After the small fight between my heart in my head, I come to the decision not to tell her just yet. Not right now. "Me too, me too." I patted her back a bit. She was just so broken and I've never felt more guilty inside me. "What's the pancake mix for?" She asked looking out to the kitchen counter. "I'm making breakfast for Mark. He's been pretty stressed lately." I just tucked my hair behind my ear and looked away. I didn't want to face it. I wanted to leave LA so bad now. Because of what happened to Mark and his computer and now fans know where he lives. It's a bit much. And I wanted a fresh start, a place all our own. No family, no people we knew. I mean, of course some people will know him. I sighed. "I'll help you Em." She hugged me in a weird way because of how we were sitting. I sighed, holding back tears. I want her to come with us.

She's my best friend.

I still didn't talk about it, I just got up and we headed into the kitchen. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. "I remember the last time we made breakfast together, I was at your house and Barb was still asleep." She reminisced and drug me back to how much I'm going to miss her.

"And we were like 11 and trying to do it ourselves to surprise her and you dropped the gallon of milk and eggs and broke them both?" I smiled to myself then looked at her smiling too.

"YEAHHH. Then the dog came in and ate it and got super sick." She was chuckling really hard. I didn't have much to look back on and be happy about in my life. But Ashley made me say I at least had some memories I could do that with. Most of them included her.

"If you and Mark weren't together. I'd be here 24/7. I don't wanna intrude though. You deserve the happy of having someone. After all the bullshit I've seen you go through, you deserve everything you want. But I just wish I could give you guys more time alone. I'm always so bored though, there's not a lot to my days anymore."

"Come to the grump space with us tonight." I blurted out, one because I felt bad and two because I felt awkward sitting with the grumps while Mark recorded.