Nobody Likes You When You're 23

The W

EMBERLY

I lied in bed, next to Mark. It was really early in the morning, for me at least. I had a really weird dream about Derek, and it got me thinking about this whole thing. How I was going to jump into this relationship, and I started to question everything. Was Mark being genuine? How could I even trust him? I dropped my whole life to stay here in LA, and I started questioning that choice. Back home, I told Mark, I'd never make him drop everything to move in with me. But, honestly, I don't have much to lose. A dead end job, an abusive boyfriend who awaits trial, a mom who I loved but didn't love me as much, and a house whose rent was more than I could ever afford.

But I still feared the who love and commitment thing, I just wasn't ready. But I don't know what to do, I'm torn. Do I let this fear get in the way or do I just do what makes me happy? I felt his arms wrap around me. It was strange, y'know? Since the day I met him any problem I had seemed to disappear. He was there for me when Amy left, and if he would not have been here, I probably wouldn't have been able to get through it. "What time is it?" I heard Mark murmur in my ear. "5:54" I said, my voice cracked, it always seemed to when I woke up. "We gotta get up, like, right now." He popped right up. Damn, I don't have the energy to that. "Why?" I whined throwing his pillow over my head. "I'm not allowed to tell." I quickly sat up. My eyes matted half-shut with grossness."But Maaaark, It's almost 6am! How could you possibly plan something, when literally nothing is happening right now?" I asked standing up. "A handsome man never reveals his secrets." He said as he threw on a jacket. "Wait, you're still in your pajamas?" I looked down at the pink mustaches through the fabric of his pants. He nodded, "Yeah, you don't need to dress up for where we're going." I sighed in defeat. I guess you can't argue with that, but I hated surprises and not being able to think about what it could be. Especially this early.

I put on one of Mark's jackets and went barefoot, just in socks out of the apartment building with him. I was still half asleep, the early morning was kind of cold in LA. We got into the car, and Mark looked over at me before reaching for the keys in the ignition. He smiled, this goofy smile. He just looked at me. I looked so weird right now in his boxers and a tank top, A.K.A my designated pajamas. His jacket was huge on me and I wasn't even wearing shoes.

"I've never ever ever in my life, have loved anyone more than I do in this moment." He said, even though he was smiling and kinda laughing. I could see the happiness just radiating off him.

I did that.

I caused that.

That happiness. It made me feel this feeling in the pit of my stomach that drove me nuts.

He finally started the car, and we were on our merry way to surprise land.

It was now 6:15 and Mark said we were almost there, but he pulled over and I just watched as he got out and came over to my side of the car.

"Put this on." He had a bandana in his hands.

"WHAT?! WHY?" I asked not understanding. I had no idea where we were, so why did it matter anyway.

"Please Em?"

"But-"

"Please?"

"Mark I-"

"Please, baby?"

My face slowly went from pale white to bright red within seconds of him uttering that word. I left like my heart was in my throat. I couldn't speak. I just smiled, awkwardly of course when I decided to end this spat to avoid any farther in embarrassment as I grabbed the blindfold.

He made sure my blindfold was secure before we started moving again, it was weird, not being able to see.

"This makes me think of how people used to always ask, 'would you rather be blind than deaf or the other way around?' And honestly, I'd rather be blind." I spoke in Mark's general direction, hopefully not looking stupid.