Nobody Likes You When You're 23

The Deal

"Hi Mark, I can't wait until you get home, it's been ages." Serena's voice filled my ears and my stomach churned and my heart pounded. Partially from nervousness but mostly because of fear about having my ex call me when I am next to this girl that has huge potential to actually become something with me.

"Uh, yeah, it has. I'll be home tomorrow, sometime. Not quite sure when." I said in a pretty stale way, trying not to reveal it was who it is.

"Are you okay? You're being very short and weird sounding."

"I'm fine, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodbye." I barely waited for her to say goodbye. And, I felt Emberly's eyes on me.

"Um, it's late. We better go back to my place." She said in a hushed voice, looking at the floor as she turned the key in the ignition.

I didn't say a word, I felt like a dick. I don't really know why, Emberly and I aren't even together yet. But still I didn't want her to not trust me or anything. I had no intention on getting back with Serena.

She drove quickly and quietly. I looked over at her clenching her teeth as she did. I sighed quietly leaning back in my seat. The drive was quick as hell, and I'm glad there weren't any main roads on this drive because we would've gotten pulled over for sure.

She got out of the car, before I could even say anything. I felt the anger boiling with in me. Shit.. Not now.

EMBERLY

I got out of the car and just sorta acted like Mark isn't even there. I don't want to interrupt his life. Him and this girl, have history and I need to respect that. But like I said, Mark has charmed me into sort of kind of liking him. Just a little.

Who am I kidding? I like him a lot, I really do. But to him, I was just the girl he met a couple days ago. And, I wanted to wait until this could progress to something a little more. But it's like, he's a magnet. And, I was drawn to him. But if he wants to be with her, I will not stand in his way of happiness. I am not that kind of person.

He entered the house a few minutes after me. The tension was thick, we said nothing. I wanted to say something. I wanted to go spend the rest of my last day with him. But I have these trust issues. They are holding me back, I need advice. I grabbed my keys that I just sat on the counter and left. Not saying a word to Mark, I felt his eyes on me. But I wouldn't turn around. I hate confrontation, so much.

I was just about to open my door when I heard my house door creak open loudly. "Where are you going?!" Mark yelled, sounding confused and angry. "To see my mom. And sister." I yelled back, coming off a little meaner than I intended. Mark looked at me, with the saddest look. I was about to cry to begin with. But this put me over the edge. I just turned around, and didn't bother looking at him again. I told him that I wanted him happy and If Serena is what he needed then, okay. My chest was really tight as I got in and backed out slowly. Heading toward my moms. I looked in the rearview mirror, I saw Mark standing on the road. I could've sworn, he mouthed the words "Em, don't go." But I couldn't tell. I looked at the clock, almost 11 at night. It was late, especially to see my mom. She went to bed normally at about 8.

I decided to go to the park, it's literally where I would go all the time. Lately, I haven't been very happy with my life. Working at the restaurant, lonely, my mother was more distant than ever since I wasn't here for my grandmas death. She acts like I knew it was going to happen. It was so out of the blue. The wind began to howl, and smart old me didn't think to put on a jacket. I got out of the car after it settled down a bit. And, I thought about all the bad shit going on. I thought from the beginning, about my dad, and Timmy, then my parents splitting, then Derek. A tear rolled down my cheek, nothing ever goes right for me. Why the hell did I expect things to go right with Mark? He had this stability feeling about him. And quite honestly, I yearn for stability. The wind started up again, and I sat there quietly sobbing. What was wrong with me? I felt chosen for this life. Like I will always be destined for terrible things. My vision was blurred as I swung slowly, dragging my feet on the ground.