Forbidden Literature

28| Messages

Jasper wasn't in class the next day. When I showed up at his office a little earlier than usual, I waited for almost forty minutes. Finally, the secretary posted a note on his door informing his students that he cancelled his classes to go on a business trip. If this happened a few days ago, I would deny feeling upset about this. But now, I will admit that seeing that sign ruined my day. I wanted to see him.

Since he's gone and I didn't have classes on Fridays I spent the day cleaning up my apartment. Sara was gone for the weekend with Kenji to celebrate Valentine's Day for the third time although the day had already long passed. I'm starting to think that they just make up reasons to celebrate things so that they can go off and have sex somewhere. At least they are considerate of my ears and well-being. 

Once I finished working on the living room I made my way to the kitchen, the messiest place besides my room. While picking up the trash off the counter I let out a yawn realizing I needed something to perk me up. Nothing a little Backstreet Boys can't fix. After connecting my iPod to the speakers Dad got me for Christmas and finding one of their more upbeat songs, I started dancing around while cleaning, trying to fight off exhaustion. Nick Carter's vocals actually gave me life.

Last night I hardly got any sleep. I tossed and turned forcing my eyes closed but nothing came. In truth, my body was completely exhausted, but my mind was racing. All I could think about was what Jasper had told me. Could he really be telling me the truth? I know that Aaron told me he cut ties Ms. Harrington, and it made sense for her to run to Jasper knowing how she is. But did he really push her away? Or did more happen than what he told me? Could he be hiding something?

This is the part that drove me to a sleepless night. I had no way of knowing if he really refused her unless I could somehow time travel back and see for myself. I have always been an "I'll believe it when I see it" person, but last night he seemed completely genuine. Can I really believe him even without evidence?

But if he is telling the truth, what does that mean for us? Do we take things a step further? Does he even want to take a step further? Can we take a step further?

My mind was racing too fast so I tried to drown out my thoughts by turning up the song. Why can't Backstreet Boys just tell me what to do? I want to believe to believe him more than anything, but at the same time I'm not sure what I want. Just then "I Want It That Way" came on and I laughed at the irony.

After scrubbing the oven until it returned to its usual ivory color my phone went off informing me of a text message. When I slid it open to see who it was from my heart stopped. It was Jasper.

2:37pm: Good evening, Allison. My apologies for not having class today, but I had some personal business to tend to this morning. Will be returning in a few hours. Until then, so that you still gain your service hours for the week, would you mind checking my emails and reply to any messages students have sent? I know they are probably wondering about the paper due next week. I appreciate it. -- J. P. A.

I probably read the text so many times I could perform it on Broadway perfectly. It was a very simple message, but I couldn't take my eyes off the first sentence. He called me Allison. Maybe its meaning is minute to others but to me it's huge. When he does this I feel like he is stripping his formal title as professor and talking to me like a normal person. And if Jasper Andrews is anything, he's professional.

He was probably wondering why it was taking me so long to reply so snapped out of my haze to send a message.

2:41pm: Hello, Jasper. And that's okay. It gives me more time to catch up on schoolwork anyway. I hope you are able to take care of what you need. I will check your emails immediately and let you know if there is anything that requires your attention (: