Forbidden Literature

29| Surrender

🍋WARNING🍋
Sexual content ahead
Ye be warned
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I was rushing out the door so quickly that I almost forgot where Jasper lived. It wasn't until I remembered that his address is stored in my GPS history that I relaxed. After punching it in, I sat in the driver's seat debating over whether or not I should call him to let him know that I would be heading over. The more reasonable side of me said it would probably be best, but then again I did love a little spontaneity. Figuring I should stick with being safe, I called his phone while turning the car on preparing myself to go.

With every ring that went my by heart leapt. My thoughts didn't help very much either. What do I tell him? How should I word it? Will he even want me to come over?

Unfortunately I couldn't answer any of those questions because it went straight to voicemail.

Puzzled, I tried again only to be met with the same result. I looked at the phone gripping it in frustration.

"Seriously?" I groaned at it as if it could answer me.

Just as I was about to completely give up I tried it once more mentally crossing my fingers. I am not about to waste any more time away from him now that I know the truth. I don't know what I will do when I get to his house, but I know that I have to tell him. I held my breath waiting for the voicemail . . . when suddenly I heard the dial tone.

I exhaled loudly in relief. Never in my life did I think I'd be so excited to hear such noise.

With every ring that droned by my body filled with anxiety. I couldn't figure out why it was taking him so long to answer. What could he possibly be doing? If I saw him calling I would answer immediately, no questions asked. What if this is an emergency? In a way I guess you could view it as such. I swear if this were the other way around and he was calling to tell me he was coming over I would--

"Allison?" came a familiar husky voice.

My heart felt like it was going to explode just from that one word. I perked up at his answer.

"Jasper! Are you home?"

A pause. "I--uh, I will be there in a couple of minutes. Why? Is everything okay?"

That's all I needed to hear. As soon as I got the greenlight I shifted my car into reverse, backing out quickly. In the process I practically took out a car parked behind me, oops. Silently I sent an apology to the inanimate object.

"Meet me outside your place in about," I looked at the time, "fifteen minutes."

Another pause. "O. . . kay. Seriously is everything okay?"

"See you soon, Jasper," and then I hung up gripping the steering wheel as I turned out of my apartment complex and gunned it down the road. Never in my life have I ever drove like such a mad woman before--I love it.

The entire time I drove to his place ignoring half the road rules I thought about Jasper. How could I have been so blind? Why was it impossible for me to believe him even after I saw Ms. Harrington leave? Of course she did have some pretty solid evidence, but why didn't I go back and talk to him? We could have avoided all of this mess. Because of my stubbornness I have wasted so much time.

Sometimes I think I am too much like my mother, and that's terrifying. She's stubborn, insensitive, and has difficulty trusting anyone--the perfect combination for a lawyer. However, I'm not a lawyer, so this just makes me someone who shuts others out for no reason. I don't question anything, I just accept the situation given the facts. To some this is considered a good thing because it frees you from being hurt by others. However, from my experience it's not the other's doing the harm, it's myself.