Dummies' Guide to Being a Superhero (Editing)

Thirteen: Momma has the Big Guns

THIRTEEN: MOMMA HAS THE BIG GUNS

"There's an ancient wisdom I should have heeded long ago. If only I had recognized it's truth applies to me as to all me. True happiness is found along a middle road. There lies the balance and the harmony with reason and emotion not at war, but hand in hand."

-Aquaman, Aquaman Special Vol. 1 #1 (1988)
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TUTORING OSCAR RODRIGUEZ JUST HAPPENS to be the most frustrating thing in the world. THere were many times Gretal wanted to slam her head against the kitchen counter repeatedly. Of course, common sense stopped her and the little voice in her head saying she should slam his head against the counter.

"For heaven's sake, Rodriguez. You don't know shit about chemistry."

"Thanks for the support."

Gretal rolled her eyes. "Okay, then tell me why warer and oil can't mix. FYI, its pretty basic."

Oscar froze, his frown deepening. "Uh - I don't - um-"

"Okay, don't hurt yourself. Water is a polar molecule and oil obviously isn't. So the water molecules will only be able to combine - mix, whatever you call it - with itself. God, you suck. That's, like, eighth grade chemistry."

"Oh, God." Oscar sighed. "Don't take this for granted and I'm probably never going to repeat this ever again - okay, most likely never going to repeat this ever again: I need your help."

Gretal smirks. "Desperate much?"

"Hilarious."

"I know I am. But seriously, you need majoy help. Like, the science fair is coming up and our entire grade has to participate so I don't know what you're going to do."

"What are you doing?"

Davidson shrugged, biting her lip slightly. She thought about how Cooper-ish she was about to sound, but who cares? "I'm not exactly sure, but I was thinking about measuring the toxivity of silver-mercury amalgam fillings. I don't know."

"Sorry, I didn't understand a single word you just said."

"Well, with that brain of yours I wouldn't think so."

"Shut the hell up. And, honestly, that big mouth of yours hides your intelligence."

"Whoa, I didn't think you knew what intelligence means."

"Y'know, I'm tired of your crap, Davidson."

"No one gets tired of me. And you don't know the responsibility of intelligence. If I don't hide my intelligence I might not be the person you're so hopelessly in love with."

"Your sarcasm is losing it's touch."

She sends him a glare. "My sarcasm is what sets this world on it's fucking axis, so shut the hell up. Now, before you come to me, go suck up to other honors students."

"I hate you."

"I know."

. . . .

As much as Gretal loved relaxing with her arm and such, she was really craving for a fight. It was like being sexually frustrated. . . except its for crime fighting. (In Beatrice's words, "Like being sexually frustrated for Cooper.") She sighed, glancing at her mom's text messages. Apparantly, job searching wasn't on their schedule anymore.

Beatrice glanced at her, noticing the frown. "No worries, you'll be out of that sling in no time."

Gretal gave her a smile. "I hope so. You have no idea how hard it is to live with this thing."