My heart shattered into small slivers as I read through the book of my baby girls. They always seemed so happy. Why haven't I noticed that they were hurting this much!? I'm such a terrible dad. This book is full of depressing poems and rants. My heart is singing painful symphony's and it's too much. Why wasn't I there for them when they needed me most? Why hadn't I see the signs? I seen them with Gerard and I experienced them myself. Why hadn't I seen them? I flipped over a page again and a folded paper fell out. It was wrinkled and the pencil was faded but I could read it perfectly.
Dear mama,
We really miss you lots. So does Daddy. Nothing is okay at home because you leaveded. Daddy is crying all the time and always drinks a stinky drink that makes him upset. Mama why did you leave? Did we do something? We'er sorry if we did! Please come home! We miss when you cook us breakfast before school, we miss it when you see us after school, We miss when you play with our hair, we miss when you sing us to sleep. Mama we just want to hug you again. To see you smile again. Mama please, please come home.
Love:Lily + Cherry <3
I burst into tears clutching the note in my fist. How could I not have seen the signs!? Why did I let my baby's slip away and fade into the cold darkness? Why didn't I help them? They were all I had, all I lived for, and now they'er gone. I let them get away from me and now I'm left with nothing. Nothing good ever stays with me. My Chem, Jamia, Cherry and Lily, The Cellebration, nothing. It all just shatters right in front of me. I let my babies die, I let my babies get that bad to the point where they didn't feel that they should be here. With them gone I have nothing to live for. Nothing to keep me going.
I got up off Lilys bed and walked into my room. I opened up my side table and pulled out my little had gun I had for protection. I cocked it and held the the barrel to my head. Cherry, Lily, Jamia, my baby boy that passed on with my love, I'm coming home. Daddy's coming home babies. Your love is coming home my love.
