Saving The Angel **Completed**

Chapter Four

Chapter Four

I laid my head down on the table. Everything just felt wrong.  I wanted Angel human, that didn't feel wrong but when Angel wasn't here everything felt wrong.

All of this was just so confusing. I'm pretty sure he's mad at me right now.  He should be mad at me. I yelled at him and I made such a big deal out of this. I needed to stop being selfish when it came to him. I get selfish every time someone opens up to me. Not everything is about myself. So why do I keep doing that? For the love of all that is good in this world, I am jacked up.

I've got issues. Maybe I have gone insane. I mean my boyfriend...........well maybe ex-boyfriend............isn't even real. He was never born. He practically doesn't exist. I really need a therapist. That would make things a whole lot easier. Maybe I could just confess everything to my parents and they would feel sorry for me and send me away to a boarding school or something.

All of this was confusing.

I rubbed my eyes and lifted my head off the table. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't in desperate need of Angel right now so he probably wouldn't come if I called for him.

I remember a time when everything was normal. I hung out with my friends, got good grades in school, told everything to my parents. That seemed like it was five years ago when really it was only TWO WEEKS AGO.

I needed a reality check and quick.

I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling. White and boring. Like the ceiling was going to help me with my problems. Heck, I'd probably get more out of a dog then that. At least a dog couldn't talk back, actually that's a really good.......................

Kendall what is wrong with you? If this had happened a year ago, you wouldn't have taken no for an answer. You would have told him off, like you did, and forget the whole situation. You would have made him come crawling back to you, begging on his hands and knees. What happened to her? She wasn't this big old softy sitting here, she would stand up and do something about it. Not question her, not go looking for a dog to talk too. She would call Angel every time she got just to make sure that he was still remembering how he made you feel when he wouldn't let you save him. Maybe a therapist is what you need right now because this Kendall sitting right here isn't the one that I know.

My brain was actually right this time. A year ago, I wouldn't have been sitting around depressed. I would have found something to make everything go away. I defintley wouldn't have been looking up at the ceiling and thinking about going to a dog park to talk to a random dog. Now that means I've got serious mental problems.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do. I'm sitting here wondering if my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend that is a ghost with wings is wondering about me and is mad at me. When I should be at a dog park..............no, what the hell?..............First your all against this and now your saying I don't have mental problems? Now even my brain is jacked up. Perfect.

This isn't your brain.

Then who is it? I know I don't have another person's mind in my head because that's not possible. It isn't my voice that talks to me because she's totally against me sitting on my butt right now. It can't be Angel because he's totally mad at me right now. Ugh, why do I have to make things more complicated? Maybe I can talk to you about it. Crap, I have more than one voice in my head and I'm talking to both of them. I'm seriously messed up in the brain area.

Angel isn't totally mad at you.

How do you know?

Look up.

How am I supposed to trust you?

Kendall just look up and stop being a smart alack.

I looked up to see Angel hovering over top of me. Yes, it is official. Kendall has gone insane.