BROKEN HOME :: OT4

Je serai bon

Chapter One ; Je serai bon

The rain is a little too harsh on Michael's skin as he runs towards the block of flats; he doesn't know if it is tears or rain droplets that he is tasting but he doesn't care. All he is focused about is getting to Calum; even when his hands are shaking, even when his t-shirt is stained with blood; all he can think about is CALUM.

It is no longer like the old times any more though; he can no longer throw rocks at his window and cry under his neck; Calum will no longer caress his bruises and tell him that he is a canvas that fell in the hands of the wrong painter; they are no longer friends.

And in alternative universe, if he could, Michael would go back in time and change everything; he would speak up for himself like Calum does; he would stop swallowing his words like pills and actually approach people like the brunette does. He would make effort in to staying with the person who was his only reason to fight.

The wind is howling like some horror movie theme song but Michael doesn't care; he steps on the mud carelessly, taking big steps as he stretches out his limits of velocity. He doesn't want to run, he wants to stop and take a break; he wants to admire the night sky but he doesn't have much time.

He has called the police and they would get to their house before he could even leave the neighbourhood; as he hears his heart pounding, he wonders what he would do if Calum is at the fraternity house. He has nobody to go to.

His hair is flat on his face from the rain and his body is heavier than usual when he reaches the doorstep; he pushes the door bell twice, looking around the neighbourhood to make sure nobody is there to witness his madness.

His eyes land on the CCTV camera and he quickly puts his hoodie on; for a person who doesn't know him, he looks very suspicious. He was wearing black from head to toe, red liquid dripping from his band t-shirt and making his tracks more than obvious.

He re-thinks about coming to Calum as nobody is answering: he doesn't expect him to do so though, it is ten at night and the boy might be asleep. He faces the other side and looks at the dark night sky which seems like it won't stop crying. Warming up his hands with his breathe, he prepared himself to run once again. He doesn't know where to, and it scares the living shit out of him- but he knows he has no other choice.

When he takes a step, the corridor light turns on and sleepy Calum opens the door; he is only wearing grey track suit bottoms and nothing else. His hairy is messy and his eyes are red as he has been rubbing them a little too much. In one hand he is holding a baseball bat, his other hand is occupied on the key of the door.

"Michael, what the fuck are you doing?" he asks, resting the baseball down and takinga good look at the boy. That is when it hits Michael; he has been feeling terrible but at that moment, everything floods back to him and he starts to shake.

He falls lightly on the door mat and he can't stand up, he can't speak. All he feels is an intense amount of pain all over, like something is just squeezing him into this little ball. He can't breathe and he feels like he is about to be sick in front of Calum.

'Is this what panic attacks feel like?' he asks himself. He has read about it but he only knows little about it; but now he feels as if he should have read those posts on Tumblr on how to stop it. He feels like his throat is being chocked and he feels like he is suffocating on the air he is in taking when in reality, he isn't in taking enough.

The brunette doesn't know what to do. They haven't talked since graduation and all he knows is that he misses his friend. And so he sits next to him, out in the rain with no clothing to cover his chest but he doesn't care; he wraps his arms around the boy like he used to when he came to his house at the middle of the night when they were little.

As if on queue, Michael comes back to life; his airways open and he could feel his lung working once again, but the shock is still there.

"I did something bad," he whispers, "Oh Calum, I did something bad. I think my head is bleeding and the world is spinning. I tried counting my fingers like you taught me when we were kids but they keep overlapping as if we are holding hands. I don't know what happened but I screwed up, I screwed up big time Cal. I don't know what to do, please tell me what to do."

Calum feels like crying, he just holds the boy tighter and tries to ignore the blood stain that has just appeared on his track suit because yeah, he misses this a lot.