invisible ; malum [completed]

5

» calum

today is the day michael comes over to my house for us to work on our project.

i'm actually really really not looking forward to this.

a guy like michael is all surface. of course he fears being alone, he's never been alone in his life.

he's the most popular guy in our school. he has a lot of money, been in plenty of relationships, and has great looks.

okay far past great. he is hot. his hair is so crazy and funky and i love it. he (somehow) has tattoos on his arm, from what i've seen, he has arm bands on his right arm, like bracelets. i'd always wondered what they meant. tattoos tell a person's story, or can do so, anyway. he has these piercing green eyes. he has an eyebrow piercing and gauges. and nice lips. very nice lips.

i roll my eyes, disgusted at my thoughts.

it's not a secret that i'm gay. my whole family knows. the school would know, too, if they paid any attention.

i keep tugging at my hair, waiting perpetually for a knock at the door.

i am pacing when i finally hear the knock on the door.

"com-ing!" my voice cracked.

why can't you be fucking normal?

i open the wooden door and see michael standing there in a mötley crüe tee, black skinny jeans, and black boots.

he looked... more than hot, i don't even know. i almost let my jaw drop in awe.

"hi."

"hey."

"uh, come in."

i move aside from the door and he steps in, taking in his surroundings.

"sorry, my house is shit."

"no it's not, it's... homey, snug. i like it."

i look down and smile at my feet, leading him to our living room.

"so, do you want anything? like food or a drink?" i offer him.

"um, sure. a soda's fine," he answers, falling back onto the suede, ratty couch that i was so ashamed of.

i sigh, mortified at my home situation. a guy like michael shouldn't have to see this. we're supposed to get to know each other, but i was still embarrassed at this, to say the least.

when i return with a coca-cola, he takes it, pops it open, and almost completely chugs it.

as the drink slides down his throat, his adam's apple bobs, making me gulp.

he puts it down, letting out a sigh of relief.

"sorry, my throat was dry."

i snap out of my daze and reply, "it's fine."

i shiver and grab the papers we need for the project off of the coffee table. "let's get started, shall we!" i declare, asking a question but not really.

"so what should we do first? it says we should either break the ice or something..." i say, trailing off and waiting for him to say something.

"uh, okay."

he pulls a piece of paper out of my stack and scans it.

"so how about this one: what is the most cliché thing you've ever done?" he asks me.

"oh, um, i don't know. i wrote a song for a girl in the seventh grade," i say, lying about who i wrote it for, "but i didn't give it to hi--her."

he stares at me, trying to figure me out, but i won't let him.

"were you trying to say you wrote a song for a guy?"

"uh, yeah," i mumble.

"oh."

we sit in silence for a minute. i guess he is trying to see if he is okay with it, and i'm awaiting the verdict.

"that's cool. i've just never known someone my age that is gay before."

"oh, yeah. haha, well now you do!"

"why didn't you give it to he--him?" he asks.

"he didn't know me anyway. no one does."

"i'd like to," he blurts out.

i look at him and smile. he smiles back.

"my turn, i guess. how about... what is one thing you don't understand about yourself?"

"wow, you choose all the deep questions."

"just choosing one that's more interesting than 'favorite color,'" i reply.

"okay, i guess one thing i don't understand about myself is my need to please everyone. i wish i could just not care what anyone thinks but i do," he says as he stretches his arm out across the back of the couch, his fingers brushing against my neck.

i felt a bit of a sudden, almost spark in my neck.

i wonder if he did, too.

no wait, of course he didn't. he's completely straight.

"how do you do it?" he asks abruptly.

"do what?"

"be as alone as you are. like that must suck, not having a lot of friends like you say."

"it's better than being stabbed in the back or being noticed for all the wrong reasons."

a/n: hello i am back with another update

i might double update because the next chapter is one of my favorite mikey ones :)

peace