invisible ; malum [completed]

7

» calum

michael lies on my bed, head in his hands and elbows propping him up.

"so are you ever going to show me that song you wrote for that guy?" he asks teasingly.

"omigod, no," i say, sitting at the foot of my bed.

he looks extremely good, his purple hair slightly faded. he sports a faded jean jacket. everything about him today is just a "faded" look. his black jeans are ripped, and he's wearing a white tee.

i, on the other hand, look not even close to decent. i am wearing a white t-shirt, and my hair is up in a mini-quiff. i forgot to comb it down this morning.

he laughs at me, looking at me pleadingly.

he has the cutest laugh.

it's been a few days since we've hung out, for our project, and last time, michael clifford sorta-put-his-hand-on-mine-and-left-it-there.

i didn't know what to think of it, so i didn't do anything. i still don't know.

it was probably just an accident.

"c'mon, we're supposed to be getting to know each other, the juicy, deep, dark secrets," he nags, his lovely voice interrupting my chain of thoughts.

"ugh, fine," i agree unwillingly and begin to sift in the bookshelf adjacent to my bed.

i don't even know why i have it since i don't read, but i have a lot of random books shoved there, and somewhere behind it is the paper i wrote on all those years ago...

"ah, here it is," i say, tugging at a piece of paper, almost ripping it.

"do you want me to sing it or?" i ask, looking back at him.

"whatever you want."

"well it makes more sense for me to sing it, so i'll just do that, i guess."

i start to sing really quietly after clearing my throat. i could barely hear a sound coming out of my mouth when i begin to move my lips to sing:

"cause i never wanna be that guy
who doesn't even get a taste.
no more having to chase
to win that prize.

you're just a little bit out of my limit.
it's been two years now, you haven't even seen the best of me.
and in my mind now, i've been over this a thousand times.
but it's almost over, so let's start over."

i look up at him. my hands are shaking out of anxiety.

"sorry, it sucks, and it's really short, and it's so--"

he cuts me off, "shut up, i wish i could write songs like that. by the way, your voice... i like it a lot."

he sits up and looks me in the eye. "it's really good, cal. don't talk yourself down. no one deserves that, especially you."

cal? i like it.

i smile at him and look down at my bed sheets, at which i'm completely embarrassed of now. they are slightly torn and are an ugly brown and smell like shit.

he continues, "why do you always brush off approval or praise?"

i shrug, not really sure myself.

"well don't. if anyone, you deserve praise. you're a good person."

"no one sees me, michael, don't you get it?" i say, standing up and running my fingers through my hair. "i'm just another empty seat filled at the back of the classroom, and, sometimes, that's not even true.

"i'm just a small water molecule while you, michael clifford, are the whole god damn ocean."

he looks at me, probably surprised considering i happen to not talk a lot, and i just went on an inflammatory-like tangent.

"the thing is, i do."

"do what?"

"see you."

a/n: one of my favorite calum chapters even though it's short

thank you guys for 40 votes and 350+ reads that's pretty fucking rad !!

have a nice day my lovelies

[republished because i edited something oops]