invisible ; malum [completed]

6

» michael

I am not gay.

I am not gay.

I am not gay.

I AM NOT GAY.

I'm not gay.

That's been my thought process since I've left Calum's house the day before yesterday.

He's coming over again today, and I don't know if I can handle it.

He's so cute when he smiles and how he plays with his hands when he is nervous.

No, stop. You are not gay, never have been, and never will be.

But what if I am?

I look at myself in the mirror and shake my head. I say aloud, "I am not gay. I am completely straight. I like boobs."

Then immediately after, I go to splash water on my face, like that would cleanse me.

Ding, dong!

"Shit," I mutter. I push my hair to the side and rub my face so that my cheeks are like putty.

I run down the stairs in a hurry and open the door.

Calum is standing there in a black tee, black skinny jeans, and classic vans, as always.

The black tee is tight, and I notice he has very nice biceps.

Fuck.

"Uh, come in."

He comes in, and his jaw is to the floor.

"Wow, your house is very nice. It's so--"

"Big? Roomy? Lonely?"

"Yeah, I guess."

I lead him to my room and realize how dirty it is.

"Shit, let me clean up in here," I say, running into my room. I pick up the clothes scattered around the floor. There's a picture of a half-naked girl hanging on the wall, and I tear it down and crumple it up quickly.

Calum walks in slowly and tentatively says, "Uh, is it ok now?"

I exhale, "Yeah."

He walks in and looks around. "Your room is really big."

I laugh nervously. "Yeah, I guess."

He says, "So today, we're supposed to do some bonding activity."

He looks at me, and I almost start to blush. Blush.

He reads off of the paper, "'Some of the suggested activities include but are not limited to: play board games, watch movies you both like, people-watch, or stargaze.'"

"Wow, some of those are lame," I say, laughing.

"Yeah," he agrees.

"So do you want to watch a movie?" I ask, pointing to my large collection of movies. Not porn! Just movies.

"Sure," he answers, moving to the corner where I keep the movies.

He sifts through them and says, "What about Anchorman?"

"Omigod, yes, I love that movie."

He tosses it to me and I put it in the old-fashioned DVD player I still own.

He sits on the floor at the foot of the bed. He looks so comfortable and cuddly.

Why did I just think of a guy that way?

He is getting cuter and cuter by the second.

"Are you gonna stand there like a dumbass or come watch the movie?" he asks, grinning at me.

Again, I almost blush and plop down beside him.

The movie starts, but I'm not even paying attention. I'm sweating a storm because of how nervous I am. My heart is speeding up, and I can't believe I'm thinking about a guy this way, especially Calum.

It's not that Calum is a bad guy or anything. Just if I'm gay, I thought I would go for a conventionally cute guy like Luke.

Two things: (1) I'm not gay and (2) why do I sound exactly like Cher from Clueless?

I put my head in my hands, forgetting Calum was there for a short moment. Luckily, Brick Tamland just did something incredibly stupid on Anchorman so I had an excuse for doing so.

When I put my hand down, it ends up next to Calum's, just barely touching it. Courageously, I decide to leave it and not play it safe.

a/n: one of my favorite mikey chapters yay

i hope you all like it, leave a comment or vote or something:)