invisible ; malum [completed]

11

a/n: the large paragraph in italics is a flashback to when they *insert squeal here* KISSED !! but yeah kay bye

» calum

what did i do wrong?

did i make him uncomfortable?

did i move too fast?

did i confuse him?

those are the thoughts running through my head right now. they also include but are not limited to:

why did you kiss him?

why are you such a fuck-up?

see, this is what happens when you let people in.

they take control of your mind so that not only are they the only thing on your brain, but all of your actions and words revolve around them, too.

i let him in.

he stole my heart.

i let him out.

he took my heart with him.

i look into his eyes, searching for something, something to tell me i should do it. just kiss him. he looks back at me, and i see a glint of true happiness in his eyes, and that's when i start to lean in.

surprisingly, he copies my actions, and before you know it, our lips have collided. i can feel something, something passionate in the way he kisses me.

our lips are synchronized with every movement, and soon enough, i'm straddling him so that our bodies are pressed up against each other, meshing messily but perfectly.

i can feel my heart thumping, and it's as if everything around us is frozen. my head is spinning, and i can't even express my feelings for him.

i feel a sea of flames crash like a wave around me when he pulls away and tells me to get off.

like everything came together, but then it all came crashing down again, and i was stuck in the sea, drowing, of flames, burning out.

i don't know when michael left. i know i sat in my bathroom for several hours because i was still in there by the time my mom got home.

at this moment, i'm staring at my ceiling, thinking.

what could i have done better?

am i not good enough for him?

all i know is how good his lips felt on mine, like they already knew their way around. being close to him like that--

clack, clack!

i sit up and look around. i am tempted to go to the window, but i don't want some axe murderer to be sitting on the ground looking up at me.

what? i'm paranoid.

eventually, i give in and sneak to the window. i see a blonde girl with a white-on-blue striped shirt gathering pebbles, about to throw them at my window.

i open the window quickly and call out, "ashley?"

a/n: so i introduced the first main female character aYe.

so you'll find out, ashley MAY OR MAY NOT be someone you already know :)))))

also, take note on how michael described the physical aspect of the kiss and calum described the emotional part ;)

i know you guys don't care but i feel so sad right now and i kinda don't wanna relapse but then i kinda do

sorry for burdening you,, you can leave i'll update later byeas :)