CLARISSA'S THOUGHT'S AND POV
I COULD NOT BELIEVE THAT HE STILL HAD THE SHIRT I HAD GIVEN HIM AS A GAG GIFT YEARS AGO . AND THEN HE KEPT ALL THE OLD THINGS FROM WHEN WE WORKED SHOWS TOGETHER THAT HAD BOTH OF US TOGETHER ON IT ..... GUESS HE TRULY DOES LOVE ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS LIKE I DID WITH HIM ......... IT'S ALWAYS BEEN JONATHAN FOR ME ........... I CANT DENY IT ANYMORE .......
I'M STILL IN SHOCK OVER EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED SO FAR . I JUST WANTED EVERYTHING TO BE OVER WITH DREW AND HEATH , SO I COULD MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE AND JUST BE HAPPY WITH JONATHAN . THE WAY WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN ALL THESE YEARS ........
I MUST HAVE STILL BEEN DEEP IN THOUGHT , BECAUSE JONATHAN CAME UP BEHIND ME AND WRAPPED HIS ARMS AROUND ME AND ASKED ME IF I WAS OKAY ?
LISSA ARE YOU OKAY HONEY ? I'VE BEEN TALKING TO YOU THE PAST TEN MINUTES , BUT YOU SEEMED TO BE SOMEPLACE ELSE HONEY ............ COME BACK BABY IT'S ME JONATHAN , YOUR MOXIE .
WHEN HE SAID THAT I HAD A FLASHBACK , BUT THEN AS QUICK AS IT CAME , IT WAS GONE BECAUSE I KNEW I WAS SAFE WITH HIM . I KNEW THAT NO MATTER WHAT THAT MY MOXIE WOULD NEVER HURT ME EVER , BECAUSE HE JUST LOVED ME TO MUCH TO DO THAT TO ME . I TURNED MY HEAD A LITTLE SINCE HE WAS KISSING MY NECK TO GIVE HIM BETTER ACCESS .......
MOXIE I'M FINE . SORRY WAS JUST LOST DEEP IN THOUGHT HERE FOR A WHILE ........ I JUST WANT TO GET THIS OVER WITH SO I CAN MOVE ON AND START THE BEST PART OF MY LIFE NOW WITH YOU .......... BUT I ALSO HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS WONT BE THE END OF THINGS FROM DREW AND HEATH THOUGH ........ ESPECIALLY DREW , SINCE HE WONT LIKE THAT I'M BREAKING THINGS OFF WITH HIM , AND LIKES TO THINK I'M HIS OWN PERSONAL PLAY TOY AND NOT A PERSON . WITH HIM IT'S LIKE I'M AN OBJECT SOMETHING FOR HIM TO POSSESS AND OWN ............ AND WELL WITH HEATH I DON'T KNOW ....... I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT ........ BUT HE'S JUST AS RUTHLESS AS DREW IF NOT WORSE AT TIMES ........... I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY BOTH CHOSE TO DO THIS TO ME OF ALL PEOPLE , KNOWING THAT YOU AND ALL THE GUYS WOULD GO AFTER THEM ONCE YOU ALL KNEW THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW THEY WERE TREATING ME ............ I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ALL AGAIN .......... I MEAN I'VE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK AND I'VE SURVIVED IT ALL FOR SOME REASON , NOW I KNOW WHY .......... IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU JONATHAN . I WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE WITH YOU .......... ONLY YOU !!!!!!!!!
I STARTED SHAKING MORE AND HE HUGGED ME TIGHTER TO HIS BODY AND WOULDN'T LET ME GO . KISSING THE TOP OF MY HEAD SINCE HE WAS TALLER THAN I WAS .
CLARISSA , HONEY IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY ..... TRUST ME WE ARE ALL PREPARED FOR WHATEVER THEY DECIDE TO THROW OUR WAY IN ORDER TO KEEP YOU SAFE HONEY .......... WE ALL LOVE AND CARE A GREAT DEAL ABOUT YOU BABY . AND LET ME SAY I SEE HOW MOST OF THE GUY'S LOOK AT YOU HONEY . AND I ALSO HEAR THEM TALKING , NO IT'S NOTHING BAD BABY DON'T MAKE THAT FACE PLEASE .......... JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE AND LET ME FINISH WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU HONEY PLEASE ..........
O ........ O .......... OKAY M ........ MO ......... MOXIE ..........
BABY IT'S OKAY CALM DOWN ......... BUT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS THAT THE GUY'S ALL LOOK AT YOU , RESPECT YOU , AND WOULD DIE TO HAVE A CHANCE WITH YOU .......... BUT THEY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU SO THEY BACKED OFF . I CAN TELL YOU BABY , THAT THERE ISN'T A SINGLE ONE OF THEM THAT WOULDN'T KILL FOR THE CHANCE TO SAY YOUR THEIR'S . THEY ALL SEE HOW SPECIAL YOU REALLY ARE BABY , AND THEY RESPECT THAT . AND WE ALL LOVE YOU THAT MUCH MORE JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE YOU , AND YOUR SO DAMNED LOVABLE ............. SO DON'T EVER LET ME HEAR YOU SAY , THAT YOU AREN'T LOVED , OR DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED AGAIN BABY . BECAUSE THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE AT ALL ... .....
I SIGHED HEAVILY AS I HAD SILENT TEARS FALLING FROM HIS LITTLE SPEECH . MOXIE ALWAYS MADE ME FEEL BETTER , NO MATTER HOW BADLY I WAS FEELING ABOUT THINGS . HE KISSED THE TOP OF MY HEAD AGAIN , AND THEN TILTED MY CHIN UP SO I HAD TO LOOK INTO HIS EYES , WIPING AWAY THE TEARS WITH HIS THUMBS .......
