Forbidden (Seth Clearwater)

Chapter 19 - Forbidden

Chapter 19

"What do you mean?" Rosalie asked Edward after a whole minute of silence. I didn't take a glance at Seth but I knew that he was looking at my direction.

"It's nothing," I interrupted. "I just thought that I wou—"

"She already lost her powers and her body is too weak to even move," Edward explained. "Carlisle, give her a check up,"

"I'm fine, Carlisle," I assured my foster father, though I called him by his first name. "Edward's overreacting a little bit. Maybe I'm just tired and I need some sleep,"

"You slept for a good fourteen hours," Edward glared at me. "Just let Carlisle help you. Blyte's right and take her advice," he also read my mind back to my conversation with Blyte too, huh?

"What did Blyte say?" Jasper asked.

"It's nothing," I assured Jasper and turned my attention back to Edward, "I won't do it. I'd rather die,"

"Die?" Renesmee repeated.

I focused my attention back to Edward again and decided to ask the question that was clearly bugging my mind. "What was inside Blyte's mind when she tried to kill me while Seth and Alec were fighting?"

"She was trying to stop the fight by distracting them," he breathed out. "She never meant to kill you. She wanted to help you. When she read Alec's mind, she knew that he was dead set into killing Seth," and that was the last thing I heard before I went to my room and locked my door. I was dumb for thinking that Blyte was an enemy.

I was wrong for thinking that about her.

She wasn't as heartless as Alice described. She cared for people and just didn't know of it herself.

Since I was living in a house full of vampires, I knew that they could just open a door without a single problem by punching or kicking it. But this time, Seth was the one who knocked. He was calling for my name and I just sprawled on my bed.

I stared at the ceiling, not minding the loud pounding on the door. I knew for the fact that Seth wouldn't be able to open it, unless he shifted into his other form which he wouldn't do inside this luxurious house.

If the fact that I was dying was true, why did it have to only happen now? Why did it have to happen when I already accepted the fact that I was a half-vampire. Why did it have to happen when I was already used to being one. It was better for me to be just a half-vampire rather than a full one. So, why? I wanted to keep a human part of me intact and that would be gone...

Being half-human and half-vampire, I already accepted that.

But being a fully pledged vampire was of a different level.

Even though we were talking about animal blood, I just couldn't take it. Animal was the same as people but in a different form. They have feelings too. They bleed and they die too.

Ever since I was a child, I didn't have the guts to eat meat. I was a vegetarian ever since I gained consciousness in this world.

I knew right from the very start that it was ridiculous to think of such personal opinions and traditions when the final decision would lead between life or somehow, death. It was wrong to think like that in this kind of situation.

I didn't know why I didn't want to give in. Immortality was already included if I ever gave in, right? Beauty too. But there was one thing that I still fully hated about it.

It was being a monster.

I stood up and walked over to the window of the open forest. I needed to get out of here before the Cullens might convince me of turning into a vampire. I wouldn't want to go to a lecture when my mind was already set on one thing.

I'd rather die than be a full-pledged vampire.

That, I swore to my very own soul.

"I'm sorry, Seth," I whispered. "Maybe you could find another imprint when I'm gone, a human imprint to live your life growing up,"

I knew that Seth heard that even though I didn't speak it out loud. It came with being a werewolf. "No!" he yelled. "No! No! No!" he agressively turned the knob around. "Don't do this! I'm sorry for the wreck, Mr. Cullen!"

My eyes widened at what he was going to do. He was going to shift inside the Cullen's property. I jumped from the window and landed on the ground of the forest. I didn't land gracefully since I lost almost all of my power.

Exerting all my energy into running, I managed to run quickly. Maybe nearing the speed when I was a healthy half-vampire.

A roar behind me made me run faster. I was wearing out and I wasn't so sure if I could do this longer. But I needed to.

Seth would just take me back to the Cullens and they would change me fully into a full vampire. I wouldn't want that to happen.

Not this time, not in a million years.

Before I was turned into this, I thought vampires and werewolves were frightening, dangerous, mythical, and cool. Believe it or not, I wanted to be a vampire before. But again, that was before. That was when I thought everything was mythical.

That was when I thought that all these things weren't even real.

But boy, I was really, really wrong.

Here in the real world, all of these mythical creatures were real.

I bit both of my wrist, extracting some blood. The blood tasted like metal, it grossed me out. I needed to drain some blood so I would die. I continued to run, I knew that the blood that was coming out of my wrist was speeding up the process of dying.

And that was what I wanted.

I wanted to lose all my blood and if by any chance the Cullens found me, I knew I was already dead.

And that was what I wanted to happen.