We arrived back home and I followed behind everyone else.
"Sit down lets play truth or dare!" Alfie exclaimed. Zoe looked at me with pleading eyes. I sat down between her and Caspar. I didn't feel safe next to Caspar but I sure as hell didn't want to come between Zoe and Alfie. He'd kick my ass.
"Marcus why don't you go first?" Caspar asked, sitting his hands lap and twiddling his thumbs. Its like he knew what was coming. Like everyone else was going to shove my head in the toilet and try to drown me like at the pool. I got goosebumps at the memory.
"Caspar truth or dare?" Marcus asked, the words seemed well staged and I just looked at Zoe. She smiled at me and I just looked at Caspar.
"Dare." he said nervously, causing me to tense up.
"Kiss whoever you like in this room." Marcus stated.
Caspar started leaning my direction. Of course he was going for Zoe and not me. I just sat there watching him and then he pressed his lips to mine. My eyes opened wide as to the fact this was my first kiss and I wasn't sure how to feel. I never really thought I had a crush on Caspar. It turns out I was lying to myself. Caspar pulled away and everyone started laughing.
"Just kidding!" Caspar laughed, giving Zoe a quick peck on the lips. I got up with tears in my eyes and went throught Marcus' room to the back porch. I sat in one of the chairs and pulled my knees up and rested my head on them. This isn't fair. I didn't want to like Caspar. I didn't want to be rejected by Caspar. I just let a tear slip down my cheek as I listened to the laughs of Zoe and her friends.
For a long time I thought Zoe's friends liked me. Zoe and I have a lot in common so I figured they would love me too. Of course I went and messed it up by saying I was gay. I didn't understand why that caused everyone but Zoe to hate me. They love Tyler and Troye and they're the most openly gay people I know! I should've only told Zoe. I fucked it up for myself. Any chance I ever had at gaining there friendship was gone and I didn't want to want there approval. But I wanted it, needed it, so bad.
I heard the porch door open and I made sure to wipe away my tears.
"Hey Broseph Joesph. You want to come back in and watch some television with us?" Zoe asked, as I sighed.
"No thanks Zoe but thanks for asking." I mumbled, looking out at the forest. Maybe I could just run away. Never turn around and they'd never find me. I'd be long gone. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Zoe.
"Joe whats the matter? You always want to watch TV with me. You can talk to me Joe. I won't judge you." Zoe explained, giving me a hug. I started to cry into her shoulder. She gave me a comforting pat on the back as I just let all the tears I'd been holding in come out.
"Zoe I think I'd just like some time alone. Maybe we can talk later or tomorrow morning. I'm just really not in the mood." I mumbled, wiping my tears on my sleeve. Zoe nodded and smiled at me before walking back inside. I stood up and walked down the back porch steps and started walking through the garden. I sat underneath the window and decided to listen to what they had to say about me being to big of a baby to join them in there show or whatever.
"Wheres Joe? Did he just chicken out because he doesn't like us?" Tanya asked, I could hear the fake disappointment in her voice. Which made me realize whenever they did something bad to me they always distracted Zoe so she'd never know. Sly bastards.
"Joe doesn't hate you guys. Besides he doesn't feel well right now. So it's best we leave him be." Zoe stated. I was thankful she didn't tell them I was bawling my eyes out for a reason she didn't know.
"So what did you want to watch?" Marcus asked, coughing. Most likely for the attention from Zoe.
"Did I ever tell you how pretty your eyes are?" I heard Caspar ask. I sighed as Zoe laughed.
"No you haven't Casp. Thank you."
"Don't flirt with my girlfriend or I'll flirt with your boyfriend." Alfie threatened.
"Go ahead Alfred."
I walked back to the porch and sat back in my chair again. Caspar had a boyfriend? That can't be true. Caspar's straight as far as I know. If he has a boyfriend why's he flirting with my sister. I could hear him complimenting Zoe from my chair on the porch. Either he's really loud or he wants me to hear. I sighed and looked up at the bright blue sky.
"If the boy I like wants to flirt with Zoe thats fine."
