Dancing on the Ground

Chapter 16: Confessions

When I reached the food court I saw Zoey already waiting for me. I went over to her and grabbed my food out of her hand. "Hey," she called not knowing that it is me, "give that ba-"

"But Zoey, didn't you get it for me?" I interrupt her and turn around. "Oh, it's just you." She says. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked her pretending to be annoyed. "Oh, um, I mean that it was only you that took the food from me." She said quickly. "Okay!" I said as I slipped of my wheelchair and into the chair that was connected to the table. Right now I am anything but cheerful, but I have to pretend that I am so Zoey won't make me go home or feel sympathy. I hate that everyone thinks that I am fragile.

As we drove home I thought about how I have been a cripple for a year. Along with that my mom was killed and my father got remarried. It has been a really long and stressful year.  I looked out the window and I saw that we weren't going home. Instead we were outside the therapy center that Cary's mom works at.

"What are we doing here?" I ask Zoey. "The doctor recommended that you go to a therapist for your depression." She mumbled, trying to hide what she was saying. "But I am not depressed!" I exclaimed. There is no way that the doctor or Zoey would think this. I haven't shown any signs of being depressed in front of them. My depression normally just shows when I am alone in my room thinking about life. Well just the past year. Thinking about how miserable that day was, how rude that nurse was, how empty I felt, how broken I felt, how betrayed I felt, how hollow I was. Maybe I am depressed but I have great reasons.

My life has been a roller coaster. When I went to school that day one year ago I was at the top of the hill. It all went down from there. We went down the hill as that driver hit us, crippling my legs and breaking my mom's spine.

"Kaley, it is quite obvious." She said climbing into the back to comfort me. "You go around with unshed tears in your eyes and hold yourself with a slouch. You barely ever go out with your friends and you barely ever talk. When you smile it doesn't spread to your eyes and I can tell it is fake. The doctor saw this too and told me to set up an appointment here." I started to cry. What she said is true. Everything. I am depressed, I am broken, I am lonely, I am nothing.

I felt her trying to comfort me but it wasn't working, it just made me cry harder. She was just proving that I was a broken thirteen-year old girl that lost her mom and had to give up what she was passionate about.

"Hey Kaley," she said.

"Yeah?" I croaked out between my sobs. "I think it is time that you found out how you really lost the movement of your legs. You see, when they got you out of the car crash site and sent you to the hospital your legs could not move and your spine was broken.

They sent you to a doctor that specializes in spine surgery. The doctor said that after you came out of the surgery you would either die, not be able to use your legs ever, or have a temporary case of paralysis. They had did something that had damaged your spinal cord in the process of trying to fix it.

After a few months the doctor saw some signs that it was just temporary. The doctor recommended that we tell you and sign up for a therapy session in case you are having trouble dealing with the stress and depression of life. Soooo, here we are now. Let's get you inside before we miss our appointment." She said ruffling my hair and grabbing my hand.

"The worst kind of pain is when your smiling just to stop the tears from falling." I mumble to myself.

"What was that?" Zoey smiled looking down at me.

"Depression is like a war. You either win or die trying." I say a little louder.

"What.." She remarks at my random statements. But they aren't random. They are quotes that define what is going on in my head.

"Sick of crying, tired of trying. Yes I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying." I say a little louder than the second time. "Pain changes people!" I yell before falling onto the sidewalk in heaping, sobbing mess. Tears stream down my face as Zoey pulls me up from behind and drags me towards the building. I see a blurry figure come towards me and my stepmom and help her drag me to a chair in the waiting room. (A/n- just so you know, she can walk short distances now. That is why she doesn't have her wheelchair. I honestly forgot about it but I'm too lazy to go back and change it all. So just go with it.)

A few minutes later they call my name but I'm in no shape to get up. I feel a hand tug at me and look up to see Cary staring down at me. She must have come to work with her mom today since her dad is gone and her mom doesn't think she is responsible enough to stay home by herself yet. Mrs.Poler a.k.a Cary's mom, is really over protective.

Groaning, I slowly slip off my chair and stand. Walking slowly, I trip over my feet and would have fallen if it weren't for Cary holding my hand. "You okay?" She asked concerned. "Yeah." I choked out as I almost fell again. I was still getting used to this walking thing. I can only walk if someone is holding my hand or shoulder. I am very slow, like snail paced slow.

We inch towards the room that Is Mrs.Poler's office. We finally reach the door and I knock. Cary's mom is there in a flash. She helps me in and sets me down in the chair.

"Okay, so my first question for you is," she says as Cary and Zoey slip out of the room leaving me alone. "have you done anything like self harming, thinking of suicide, or cutting?" She asks. I freeze up. How do I tell her that I am not healthy? That I am becoming depressed and suicidal. I sigh "Well... You see."

A/n- 1113 WORDS. OMG YAS, IT IS FINALLY DONE AND I AM HAPPY. Yeah, I know I sorta left it off on a cliffhanger but deal with it peoples. That is my word. No one else is allowed to use it.

So the reason this took so long to update is because I have school, dance, and homework. My nine-week exams are this week and I'm really nervous. Plus this chapter took so much research and effort it is not even funny. But it is worth it. When I am done with this book I am thinking about getting it published. My grandmother knows a few people that might do it for me. My grandmother has a LOT of connections. She is a commissioner of Casselberry, Florida so it only makes sense. The weird thing though is that she knows my principal personally. Yeah..... So tell me what you think of that. Do you think it would do good or not?

If you are wondering what the song is there for then I'll tell you why. It is basically my favorite song besides Stay by Kygo ft. Maty Noyes. If you want to see a bunch of other great songs that I like, I'll put up my playlist on YouTube. To find it just look up Artsy Em Gaming and go to my channel. It will be the one labeled fave songs. Sooooooooo.

See ya,
That ghost girl, Em

P.s. Ya I know that's weird but deal with it. I will now go visit my ghost buddy Joe. Lol, sorry only Averyreader will understand that. Besides Joe hates me! I killed him twice. Now I'm just starting to sound insane. Pwease don't send me to an asywum I'll be gwood, I pwomise. :( Ha okay guys I'm gone now.