Private

Chapter 21

Chapter 21:
Ichigo couldn't move, not even a single muscle would obey him as he sat staring at Grimmjow in complete shock. His mind was screaming at him to move, to do something, anything, but he couldn't. His body had gone into meltdown at seeing him again. Grimmjow sighed and rubbed the back of his neck before smiling sheepishly.
"Happy birthday by the way."
That did it, Ichigo flung himself into Grimmjow's arms, clinging to him tightly as he started crying uncontrollably. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me, I'm sorry. I love you, I love you so much Grimm." Ichigo sobbed the words, clutching the back of his shirt tightly, refusing to let go when Grimmjow pulled away.
Grimmjow's eyes widened in surprise when Ichigo broke down and looked down at him in confusion. "Why are you sorry?"
Ichigo hiccuped and rubbed his face free of tears before looking up at him. "Please..."
"What?" Grimmjow lent down so he could hear him better and Ichigo hesitated before cupping his face, pulling him down into a kiss. He threading his fingers through the definitely blue hair and groaned when Grimmjow pulled him closer and kissed back.
"Hey that's not fair, I already claimed this one for the night. Find yourself someone else."
Grimmjow paused, pulling away as Ichigo stiffened and buried his head in his chest. His eyes landed on an older male with white hair on the stairs and his eyes narrowed. "Excuse me?"
The man snorted and finished coming down the stairs to stand in front of Grimmjow. "You heard me, I saw him first so back off."
Grimmjow scowled and shook his head. "Actually, I'll think you'll find I saw him first, over ten years ago. So why don't you back the hell off. Besides, as you can see, Ichigo's made his choice and it aint you."
His eyes narrowed in annoyance and he looked at Ichigo who was refusing to even acknowledge him and sighed in defeat, holding his hands up. "Fine, I can see I've lost this. If you change your mind Ichigo, come find me." With that, he left and Ichigo sighed in relief, stiffening again when Grimmjow asked him a question.
"Who the hell was that and what was he going on about?"
He looked down guiltily and bit his lip before answering quietly. "His name is Shiro, and I was going to sleep with him." He felt Grimmjow freeze and looked up at him again, grabbing the front of his shirt. "But I didn't, I couldn't!" He gripped his shirt tighter when his hands started shaking and looked at Grimmjow earnestly. "Please, you gotta believe me, it meant nothing. I'm alone Grimm, I felt so alone and he took that away, he made me feel wanted after you wouldn't even reply to my text. I wasn't thinking, but when I did think, I walked away. He wasn't you so I couldn't do it."
"Ichigo..."
"Don't say it, please." Ichigo bowed his head to hide his tears and sighed shakily. "I don't deserve you." He whispered, letting go of Grimmjow's shirt to wrap his arms around himself. "I'm a hypocrite. I dared to hate you for even thinking you were cheating on me, when I'm the one who actually ended up cheating. Just leave me here and go, that's what I deserve."
Grimmjow sighed and shook his head before grasping Ichigo's chin and lifting his head to kiss him firmly. "What about what I deserve? I want nothing more than you, so don't tell me otherwise. I didn't come all the way here to walk away after five minutes."
"Don't you hate me?"
"No." He answered firmly, brushing away Ichigo's tears. "You're drunk and you made a mistake because you were hurt. How can I hate you for that? You realised it was a mistake and walked away. That's what counts."
Ichigo shivered and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry."
"Stop apologising idiot, besides, we're not technically together anymore. So it's not like you cheated on me. Don't beat yourself up over it." Grimmjow sighed and dropped his hand. "So, do you wanna be with me again or not?"
He nodded earnestly, moving into Grimmjow's arms and sighed in relief. "Yes, I want that more than anything."
"Good." Grimmjow lifted Ichigo's head so he could kiss him again and smiled. "Wanna get out of here?"
"Definitely." Ichigo smiled happily as he was lead from the house, attempting and failing to miss the doorstep and he stumbled over it, Grimmjow the only thing preventing him falling. He blushed when the man chuckled. "What?"
"You really are drunk aren't you."
"So?"
Grimmjow shrugged, leading him over to a car and opened a door for him, getting into the drivers seat before continuing. "You can still talk normally, think kinda rationally, but you definitely don't have any coordination. I want to see you drunk more often, means if I piss you off, you probably couldn't hit me."
Ichigo snorted and curled up in the seat, looking at Grimmjow with a smile. "Shut up idiot. Where are we going?"
"Back to Nel's. I'm staying with her until I can find my own place."
"How you gunna pay for it?"
Grimmjow smirked and glanced at him quickly before pulling the car off. "I got a job."
Ichigo's eyebrows rose in surprise. "A job? You? Where?"
He rolled his eyes, the alcohol was obviously starting to affect Ichigo's brain, he couldn't even form a proper sentence. "With your Uncle, got a job teaching karate. What do you think?" Ichigo sat looking at him for a moment in shock before bursting into laughter. "What?"
"You and Uncle Kisuke?"
"Yeah, what's wrong with that?"
"Nothing." Ichigo managed to compose himself to some degree, unable to hide his grin. "Guess I'll be seeing a lot of you huh?"
"You'd be seeing a lot of me anyway." Grimmjow smiled and grasped his hand, giving it a quick squeeze before returning to holding the steering wheel. "I'm not letting you go again, we are not going through this shit again."
"Thank you." Ichigo whispered, smiling softly before yawning and closing his eyes. He only meant to rest quickly through the journey, but the next thing he knew he was being laid on what he assumed was a bed. "What's going on?" He mumbled, sitting up and slowly opening his eyes to see Grimmjow sit down next to him. "Grimm?"
"Mmm?"
"We at Nel's?"
"Yeah." Grimmjow lent towards his and Ichigo's eyes fluttered shut when he kissed his forehead. "Go back to sleep."
"No." Ichigo mumbled, grasping Grimmjow's shirt to pull the man on top of him. "I want you Grimm." He kissed his neck, nipping at his jawline to make Grimmjow groan.
"C'mon Ichi, you're drunk."
"Doesn't mean anything, still want you." Ichigo paused and looked up at him. "You want me don't you?"
"Yes." Grimmjow murmured, leaning down to kiss him. "Doesn't mean now is the right time, you're drunk."
Ichigo whined in frustration, he was turned on as hell and Grimmjow just wasn't budging. "You're mean." He pressed their bodies together, grinning when Grimmjow's eyes widened in surprise when he felt just how aroused he was. "You did that so are you gunna do something about it or what?"
Grimmjow chuckled and kissed him again, his hand sliding under Ichigo's shirt. "Fine, no sex though."
"Aww, no fair."
Ichigo pouted and Grimmjow snorted, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "I'll give you a blow job, happy?"
He thought about it for a moment before grinning and nodding eagerly. "Ok."
...
Ichigo sighed happily as Grimmjow pulled him into his arms and rested his head on his chest with a tired smile. Trailing his fingers over Grimmjow's back, he hummed. "Grimmjow that was good."
"Yeah I know, you didn't last long."
"Shut up, you're fault. It's been almost seven months, so much for six."
Grimmjow chuckled, nuzzling Ichigo's hair. "Yeah, I'm still in the six month range though so I kept my promise."
"What about your other promise?"
"Mmm? Which one's that?"
Ichigo sighed and poked his chest. "You promised me a ring." He hesitated before looking away. "Then again, I was an ass and broke up with you. So forget it, I'm not expecting one after what I've done."
Grimmjow rolled his eyes before pulling Ichigo into a kiss. "Shut up Ichi, you'll get your ring. Now go to sleep already."
"Mmm, ok."
Ichigo yawned and curled up in his arms again, falling asleep instantly. Grimmjow sighed and looked down at his relaxed face and smiled softly, running his finger over his cheekbone. "I love you Ichigo."
...
When Ichigo woke up in the morning, he sighed and stretched, running his hand across the empty bed before pausing and frowning, should it be empty? He sat up and looked around the unfamiliar room, slowly pulling the bed covers closer. It was then he realised he was naked.
He sighed heavily and rested his head on his knees, attempting to recall some memory of the night before. What came to mind was the party, and a man... Ichigo paused and wracked his brains for a name, Shiro. His body stiffened when he remembered he'd gone upstairs with him and he looked around again.
Was he still at Rukia's? Did he sleep with that man?
Ichigo shook his head and groaned, curling up tighter as his stomach churned. How could I do that? How could I sleep with him? I don't even know him, just that he's 21 and his name's Shiro. What have I done? What do I say? How can I explain this to anyone? To Grimmjow?
He inhaled sharply and buried his head in his arms. "Grimmjow..."
What do I say? He'll hate me. How could I be so stupid? I've ruined everything, he'll never forgive me for this.
Ichigo frowned and slowly stood up, noting his body felt fine and smiled hopefully. Maybe, just maybe, they didn't have sex. Maybe he could still save his relationship with Grimmjow, if he came back. He hesitated and looked down at his hands. If he came back?
Shaking off the uneasy feeling, Ichigo found his clothes and changed slowly, debating his best chance of getting away without being stopped. Deeming it unavoidable, he sighed deeply and decided he better face the inevitable and opened the door to leave the bedroom. He paused when he stepped outside and frowned. Instead of the Kuchiki Manor hallway, he found himself in a living room. He was in a flat. Ichigo paused when he heard someone in the adjacent kitchen and hesitated before slowly making his way towards it.
He froze when he saw it was Grimmjow, his mouth opening in surprise. "Grimmjow?"
He turned at the sound of his name, smiling when he saw it was Ichigo. "Hey, you ok?"
"I-" Ichigo stuttered, words failing him. "I spent the night with you?" He asked finally, disbelievingly. How could he forget that? He frowned and lent against the table. "What happened?"
Grimmjow frowned and walked over to him, touching his back gently. "Don't you remember?"
Ichigo groaned and shook his head, sighing heavily. "No, not really. It's all a blur. I woke up and thought I spent the night with that guy, Shiro. Thankfully, it turns out I didn't" He turned and looked at Grimmjow. "Did we have sex?"
He shook his head, smiling wryly. "No, you wanted to, but I said no because you were drunk. I gave you a blowjob instead to keep you happy."
Ichigo blushed and groaned, pressing his head to Grimmjow's chest. "Ughh, I can't believe myself sometimes."
"Hey c'mon, it wasn't that bad. At least, that's what you said. You seemed to enjoy it."
"Yeah I'm sure I did." He muttered, shaking his head. "Sorry, I guess I can't control myself when I'm drunk."
Grimmjow chuckled and lifted Ichigo's head, kissing him quickly. "Hey, I don't mind. It was good, I'm glad you came back with me."
Ichigo sighed, wrapping his arms around Grimmjow's neck to kiss him firmly. When he pulled away, he smiled shyly, drawing a pattern on his chest. "So if I asked now, would you have sex with me?"
"Hell yes. You were drunk last night, you've got no excuse now." Grimmjow grinned and kissed him again. "Why? Do you want to?"
Ichigo shuddered before nodding slowly. "Yes."
Grimmjow smiled and caught his hand, pulling him gently into the bedroom. "Then c'mon. Let me show you how much I've missed you." Ichigo smiled, following after him happily and sat on the bed.
He frowned when Grimmjow let go of his hand and went to his drawers. "What are you looking for?"
"You don't remember?" He looked at Ichigo to see him shake his head and rolled his eyes. "Right, you can't remember last night. You asked me about your ring."
Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise when Grimmjow grabbed something and came back over, sitting down next to him. He blushed when Grimmjow held his hand and kissed his fingers. "Grimm..."
"I love you Ichigo Kurosaki. I've never loved someone like this and I never will again, you're the only one for me." Grimmjow murmured the words and looked up at Ichigo, smiling softly. "Will you marry me?"
Ichigo let out a shaky breath before nodding, wrapping his arms around Grimmjow's neck to kiss him. "You need to ask?" He settled in Grimmjow's lap and grinned. "I love you too, always."
Grimmjow grinned back and took Ichigo's hand again, sliding a ring onto his ring finger. "There you go. I promised you a ring didn't I?"
He laughed and looked at it, unable to find any words to express how he felt to Grimmjow. "I-" Ichigo stooped and shook his head, opting instead to kiss him again. "You know what I mean. Thank you."
"Yeah I know." He flipped their positions and smirked at Ichigo's shocked expression before kissing him. "Now Ichigo, I've been waiting patiently for this. Something I'm quite proud of, considering how you were last night. So I can't hold back anymore."
Ichigo rolled his eyes and tugged on his shirt. "Then don't." Pulling him down into another kiss, Ichigo smiled against his lips. "I love you."
"Love you too Ichi."