blindsided

•chapter five•

a week after that dreadful project has been assigned, i haven't heard from ronan. he's been skipping school and not returning my texts from the number that holten gave me. though i don't really know what i was expecting.

its saturday and i'm still trying to get over the latest episode of blindsided that aired last night. gosh im seventeen going on eighteen years old, i probably should be doing more with my life than studying all the time and getting caught up in fandom drama. oh well.

i grab my phone off of my bed and shut off my bedroom light. i pad down the stairs into the living room and my phone dings, signaling that i've received a message.

mom:

hey sweetie! we set up another business trip in paris so we wont be home until june! loves, hugs and kisses, mommy

i let out a disappointed sigh. they're missing thanksgiving, christmas and my birthday. tears begin to brim my eyes as the feelings of betrayal and hurt mix in my heart. family is supposed to be the one thing that's always there. yet ever since i was little they've left me behind to do bigger and better things. i've always had the idea that in life, everyone has a soulmate, one person that loves you unconditionally in every way, no matter if you find them or not. but, when i look at my parents relationship, i never saw that. they made each other happy that's for sure, but they were never so desperately and unconditionally in love with each other. i want so bad to find someone. someone who can look at me like i'm at my best when i'm feeling my worst. someone who i can share everything with, who i can joke with, who i can know inside and out what they love what they hate. and most importantly someone to love. but every time i think of it, my parents hadn't exactly given my that good of an example. and when i think that, i think, 'maybe it's not like what i think at all. maybe you just meet someone and have a mutual relationship with them. almost like friends,'. and that's what scares me the most. over the holidays you're supposed to be surrounded by family, and besides lacy and maleana, my parents are all i have.

i throw the phone on the couch and wrap myself in a fluffy blanket, the tears beginning to stream down my face. overall i'm usually a pretty happy girl, but every once in a while i break and let all of my hidden emotions bubble up to the surface.

muffled sobs escape from my mouth, echoing around the huge, empty house. man, i really could use some company. and i don't mean lacy and maleana kind of company. yeah, lacy and maleana are over here so much that they practically live here, but i'd like to have someone or something just with me.

i finally sit up and wipe my face to rid of the fresh tears. i grab my phone from beside me to check the time: 3:29. man i really need a coffee to help me snap out of this. i wipe my face once more and grab my phone. i slip on my white converse and snatch my keys off of the shelf before opening the garage door and hopping into my jeep.

i plug in the aux chord and play my 'feeling blue' playlist on the way to the local coffee shop, maple's. as i drive along the windy road, i observe all of the changing leaves. painted in brilliant shades of reds, oranges and yellows. i love fall. every thing about it i adore. the smells, the colors, the feelings that it brings of people coming together to celebrate each other. though my parents are not usually home, i always spend the holidays with my grandparents in kentucky. but this year is different. last january, my grandparents passed and now i'm left with no one. no cousins or aunts or uncles. just me alone for the holidays. and that's part of the reason i need someone at the house with me, just so i'm not always so alone.

i pull into maple's next to a sleek black porsche. i open my door, careful enough not to scratch it, and grab my purse that i'd left in here since yesterday. i click the button that locks up my car and open up the cafe door causing a little welcoming bell to jingle.