My Soldier

Chapter14

It's been a few days since the incident at the restaurant I haven't had a decent amount of sleep since then. I keep having really bad nightmares and flashbacks that keep me up at night. Deshaun always asks me if im ok I just try to brush it off like it's nothing but ion the inside it's killing me I want to talk him about but im just so embarrassed. I let a man raped and abuse me for ten years and I did nothing about it.

"Cam!" I was snapped out of my thoughts by my name being called.

"Are you ok?" Deshaun asked with concern written on his face we were supposed to be watching a movie but I guess my mind got the best of me.

"Babe calm down I'm fine I was just thinking." I say rubbing his hand trying to reassure him.

"Is it about the nightmares?" He asks I just sat there trying not to make eye contact.

"Cam you know you can talk to me about anything?" I just nod my head.

"Baby please just talk to me." He begged turning my heads towards him with is index finger and thumb. At first I was a bit hesitant on telling him what was going in my mind but I decided to just go for it.

"I'm scared I keep having these nightmares about him and they're so realistic it feels like I'm back at that place and i just.." before I knew it I was crying gosh I'm so pathetic always crying. I look up to see hurt in Deshaun's eyes I dont want him to pity me but I guess he thinks I'm pathetic too. Before I knew it I was being pulled into a tight hug it took me a while to realize it.

"I love you so much and hurts me to see you hurt I just wanna make it better for you all you gotta do is talk to me." I nodded my head in the crook of his neck just letting the tears flow that had been built up from years of hurt and abuse. I lifted my head up to be might with his big brown eyes we shared a kiss but this one had more passion then the first time I wrapped my arms around his neck as he held my waist. We pulled apart breathing heavily back to looking each other.

"Your face looks like a pink marshmallow." He said making me chuckle at his silly remark.

"Thanks for the heads up." I say sarcastically .

"You're welcome marshmallow." He says with a smirk.

"You're such a jerk." I laugh while playfully punching him in the arm.

"But I'm your jerk." He says wiggling his eyebrows.

"I can't argue with that logic." I actually like the sound of that of him being mine and only mine.
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Ever since me and Deshaun's "heart to heart " he's been treating me different like he's been avoiding me. It's not such a bad thing to be honset but it's like he thinks I don't exist . He's also being extra quiet to me which also isnt bad but that's not the Deshaun I know and love. I'm not sure if these things are good but I kinda feel like he's trying to hide something from me. I start getting ? paranoid coming up with the worst scenarios. I decided to just calm down and talk to Kira about it she always seems to have weird but useful advice.

Hey can I ask you something ?

Sure boo ask away

Well Deshaun has been acting different i feel like he's hiding something from me

Well the best thing to do is to ask him up front

Really?

Yep just go for it

Thanks k love u

No problem boo love ya

I guess I'll just ask him hopefully he doesn't get offended or anything. My attention was brought to the door being opened. I look up to be met Deshaun with worried eyes he quickly looked away from me.

"Um hey bae." He says quickly kissing me on the cheek and walking into the other room leaving me confused.

"Deshaun I think we need to talk." He just stood there biting his lip What was he so nervous about? If anybody was to be nervous it's me. We both made our way onto the couch sitting next to each other I turn my body so we're face to face I hold both his hands in mine gently rubbing circles around them.

"I just wanna make sure you're all rights you've just been acting a little different."

"Wwhat do you mean?" He stuttered barely getting the sentence out.

"Deshaun I can always tell when something is wrong I'm not stupid."

"You do?"

"Yes I know what's going on."

"You do?"

"Yes you don't have to hide things from me."I say thinking he'll tell me what he's keeping from me.

"Im sorry Cam I just don't want you meeting them."

"Meeting who?" I ask.

"Nobody." He says quickly trying to back track.

"Deshaun tell me." I say with my voice stone cold.

"Idontwantyoumeetingmyparents." He said it so fast I only got bits and pieces of what he just said.

"Deshaun." I say sternly looking him in the eyes.

"I said I dont want you meetin my parents yet." I could tell by the look in his eyes he was telling the truth and he was scared.

"Why not?"I ask trying to figure why he wouldn't want me meetint meeting the people that gave him life.

"Cus Cam they're not good people and I told you I don't want anyone hurting you."I took hand on both sides of his head making him look up at me.

"Look babe I know you don't want me getting hurt but you have to let experience things on my own."

"Ok just please promise me you wont let them get to you."

"I pinky promise." I said hooking our pinkies together.

"Now give big daddy d a kiss." He said leaning in for a kiss. I quickly moved from my seat before his lips could reach mine msking his face fall on the couch.

"Oh so you just gon leave me hangin?"

He's such a fool but at least he's my fool.