the only exception, a maya hart story

f i v e

         

Walls lined with ancient-looking books, a beautiful table filled with charts about astronomy and the constellations, and the person who meant the most to me right next to me. Wait what? When did he become.... When did that happen? I was so frustrated that I had to be confused about him while I was trying to enjoy such an amazing sight.

As if I didn't have enough amazing things in this room, Lucas added on to the pile.

    "Look up," he said with wonder.

    As I tilted my head up to see what he meant, I gasped in awe at the inconceivable sight right above me. There, in the roof, was a crystal clear ceiling, that gave way to seeing the beautiful stars above it. The stars seemed so close, I wanted to reach out and grab them and hold them in my heart to remember them always.

But I knew I didn't need to have the stars to remember this; this sight was already permanently etched into my brain, never to be forgotten. I slowly kneeled down, never taking my eyes off the sky, and laid down on my back looking up at the glorious view. Lucas laid down next to me, and we laid there in silence with fascination at the sight in front of us. But this time the silence wasn't awkward. It was welcome.

    At some point, my arm shifted so I could make myself more comfortable on the hard ground. My skinny, pale arm brushed across Lucas's tan, muscular arm by accident.

He and I looked at each other, both of us taken out of our fascinated state, both jolted back to reality by the sudden movement and brief touch of our arms.

His eyes were so gorgeous. His eyes were home and gave me a sense of familiarity with this new world we were in. Goosebumps appeared on my arms as Lucas brushed his fingers on my hand, and I felt a warm sensation come over my heart and stomach.

    "Listen.. we never really talked about what happened earlier," I said, knowing we had to talk about it eventually.

    "Yeah, we didn't," he said in a rather raspy, shy voice that I was extremely attracted to for some reason.

    "What exactly did happen earlier?" I asked, curious to hear what he thought about the whole thing. Maybe his answer would give me some clarity about how I felt about the whole thing.

    "Is your forehead okay?" he said delicately, but completely dodging my question. "You know from earlier when we.. knocked heads?"

    I completely intended to tell him I was fine and that he needed to answer my question. I really did mean to do that.

But then he took one of his fingers and started rubbing my forehead so lightly, like he was afraid I would break and shatter into a million pieces if he didn't handle me delicately.

Saying I had butterflies in my stomach would be an understatement. More like I had killer butterflies with shotguns firing at my stomach trying to shoot their way out. My tongue suddenly went limp, and I couldn't have told him what I was going to say even if I wanted to.

    I reached out a grabbed his arm that was in front of my face and just held onto it. I don't know what it was in me that made me do that, but it gave me a strange sense of stability. While I was feeling safe and sound with my grip on his strong arm, I noticed Lucas's breathing was extremely ragged and quick. Each breath seemed more struggling than the last and I had absolutely no idea why.

    "Lucas. Lucas are you okay?" I asked trying to help him. He didn't answer me right away, which scared me.

    "Lucas, seriously! Are you okay?" I asked with panic clearly in my voice.

    "No," he said in a deep, strained voice that I had never heard him use.

    He wrapped his free arm around my back and pulled me towards him. He pressed his soft lips against mine and kissed me hard. The initial shock wore away and I kissed him back with everything I had.

I felt my common sense vanish and at that moment, Lucas and I were the only two people in the world. There was nothing else. Reality was a joke and everything we had ever had was an illusion, but the two of us were there. Lucas was still there. Through everything.

And I felt him smile through our kiss, with the tips of his pink lips touching mine. I felt a faint whisper of a laugh exit my mouth and all of my burdens were released from me. He pulled away and smiled so big that I hugged him hard enough to make him gasp for air. He made me feel like I was his everything, with no other contender.

    He gave me a big bear hug and whispered, "Oh thank God," in my ear, and I could almost picture his smile in my mind.

    Picking me up by the stomach, he carried me over to the wall by the side of the room. He sat down, bringing me with him, and held me so close to him, that I could never escape (not like I wanted to).

And we were just together. And that seemed to be all that mattered.

    "So, what happens now?" Lucas asked with a hint of nervousness in his voice.

    "I don't know," I admitted, returning Lucas's nervous emotion.

    "Scared?" he asked, completely genuinely.

    Wow. Major Deja Vu.

I don't think Lucas remembered, or if he did, he did a great job hiding it, but I remember him saying that to me when we were 16 and my mom had just broken up with Shawn.

    "No. I got you," I said leaning my head against his chest, rising and falling with his steady breaths.

    When I had said that sentence the year before, I had meant it as a statement for the 5 of us. Not just him. But here, there was no one else that had been intended for.

I had complete faith in him. Perhaps I was being too trusting. Maybe I was naive for how much I had already invested in this, but I didn't care. And that was something.

For once in my life, I didn't care if someone was to break my heart.

Lucas was my rock, and he grounded me when gravity failed to pull me down.