the only exception, a maya hart story

t w e n t y - o n e

I'm an idiot.

He cheated on me and I still love him.

I'm dumb enough to believe he really does love me..

But if he doesn't love me, then why do I feel so right?

My head rested on his shoulder as we rode home as I contemplated what I should do now. Lucas's body heat radiated and I felt like I could stay by his side, unmoving, forever.

I needed to talk to Riley. She always knew what to do.

After retiring for the night to my bed, I crept outside with my phone and called Riley. I knew she'd be awake since we were 8 hours ahead of her time. 2 rings passed before she picked up.

"Maya?"

"Riley?"

"Oh my God, what's wrong? Why did you call and not text? What's happening? Are you hurt? Is Farkle hurt? Maya, what's-"

"Riley! Calm down!"

I heard her take a deep breath across the phone and regain her composure. I in no way meant to cause her any panic.

"Sorry. You never continued the story from last night. I want details. Tell me what's happening," she said slowly.

"Ok. So what is going on now is tied to what happened last night. You see, we all went to a bar.."

"Uh huh.." Riley echoed in concentration.

I explained the story until I felt like I was about to burst into tears at my own idiocy.

"Maya.." Riley began. "WHY DO YOU LOVE LUCAS?"

"I don't kn-" I started.

"You sure as hell won't tell me you don't know. You know damn well why you love him and you're going to tell me so I can help you figure out why you were stupid enough to kiss this loser after he cheated on you with another girl," Riley stated, clearly very serious.

"Well, I guess.. It's kinda like I've known him since we were kids. We've grown up together. We never felt any pressure to be together romantically. I know everything about him. I know how he's a complete and total Mama's boy. And how when we're driving in the car, he'll start singing along to the radio at full volume like an idiot. And how he threw away dozens of girls back home but he always stuck with you and me as friends. His eyes will light up and cast light over the room when he laughs, and that occasional snort he does when he's laughing so hard he can't breathe. And when he'd sling me over his shoulder when I was angry at him to drain my frustration. I know he cheated on me. I know I'm an idiot for still wanting to be with him. Maybe I'm about to ruin myself slowly. But I don't know if I go back to being friends with after this. I care too much. Every time I see him, I want to either hit him up the face or kiss him. Help me, Riley."

There was a long pause on the other side of the line. I heard her breathing coming evenly, so I knew she hadn't hung up.

"Maya, I'm sorry," she said. "You love him. You really do. And I really do believe he loves you too."

"But Riley, you see the best in everyone.." I argued.

"Maya! It doesn't matter what I think! You love him. He loves you. Confront him about whoever this girl is. Use his response as your cue to move forward whether it's with Lucas or not."

I was completely speechless. I didn't know what to say or where to start.

"Do it, Maya," Riley stated.