the only exception, a maya hart story

f o u r t e e n

         

"Can I order you a drink?" he asked me, unsure of what to say.

    "I'm not 18.." I replied nervously.

    "You and I both know that you're not a newcomer to the usage of alcohol. I'm going to buy you a drink," he said, with a smirk on his face that I wanted to both smack and kiss.

    "Thanks, Josh," I said knowingly.

    He winked at me as he hopped out of the booth and scurried off to the bar. That little rat. I swear to god he thinks he can get any girl in the world. I love Riley, but her uncle may be the most disgusting little cretin who I'm embarrassed to have ever dated. Returning a few moments later, he held in his hands two beer bottles for the both of us. If he thought he was going to get me drunk, he was even dumber than I thought. We both took a sip of our beers, and he smacked his lips after the taste. I rolled my eyes so hard they almost fell out of my head.

    "So how you been?" he asked me with clear disinterest.

    "Fine, I suppose, but I acknowledge that you clearly do not care about my answer. So, would you like to tell me about how you've been, since you've always loved talking about yourself?" I spat out.

    "Whoa.. I was being sincere, but since you asked.. I'm fine. As you know, I'm on my semester abroad and I'm at Saint Mary's College. But as for what you don't know, um.. nope I'm pretty boring. Nothing much has changed since.. you know," he mumbled, not knowing how to acknowledge our break up.

    "I see.. How're your parents?" I asked with sincerity.

    "Ma is just as good as ever. Yelling at dad to do everything. Dad's normal. Obeying every command," he chuckled in response.

    The two of us sat there giggling, and we took another sip of beer. I savored the burning sensation traveling down my throat, and cracked my knuckles. Looking over towards the bar, I saw Farkle smiling, STILL on the phone with Riley. And Zay and Lucas having a heated conversation slightly to the left of Farkle. Lucas's gaze fell on mine and saw my staring. I looked down at my feet in embarrassment, and looked up to see he was still staring at me. But instead of the brick wall I'd seen earlier, I saw sincere hurt in his eyes as he searched between Josh and I. Whatever. Let him think what he wants. You know he doesn't like you that much, anyway.

    "Will you excuse me for a second?" I questioned, as I turned to face Josh.

    "Of course, Maya," he said with that same smile that always had managed to melt my heart a few years ago. But now I saw that the smile held so much pain that had been masked for my benefit.

    Walking away, I turned and quickly walked to the bathroom. I felt Josh's, Farkle's, Zay's, and Lucas's gaze all follow me as I tried to move as quickly as I could towards the bathroom. A million thoughts began to encircle my head. Your way in over your head. You really think ANY of them could like you? For God's sake, you don't even have stable parents in your life. What could any of them see in you?!

    As soon as the bathroom door slammed behind me, a sob escaped my mouth for no reason in particular. I sank to my knees and put my head in my hands. The world was a hard place. The world is a hard place especially for broken, little girls like me who honestly had no idea what the hell they're doing. I threw my phone at the wall, which proceeded to crack and shatter upon impact, leaving me wondering why I was stupid enough to do that. Picking myself up, I looked at myself in the mirror. Both literally and figuratively. I saw me. But not me. I saw a girl that looked like me, with eyes conveying sadness and pain hidden beneath layers and layers of shields put up one by one. How has no one noticed that? Or do they notice and not care?