sad/dark 5sos imagines

im alone // michael and maddie (requested)

-trigger warning- do not read if you are triggered by self harm. be safe babies, love u.

i sit in my room just staring at my wall, looking at the blank and boring white. i look down and check my phone for any text messages, and not a surprise there isn't a single one. i keep staring and at the screen when a text a from michael pops up asking if i want to hangout with the him and the boys. i reply no and get off my bed, walking towards my bathroom. "when will somebody actually love me and not leave me." i say looking in the mirror. some warm tears cascade down my face and i think about how nobody truly loves me, im just here for another face to say people know, im just here for people to take advantage of and im just here for no reason at all. i look down at my arm and slowly life up my sleeve to reveal a full array of fresh cuts, scars and cuts almost fully healed. my other looks the same, "shit." i say cursing myself for not having any room left to make new ones. i think for a while if i should make some new marks on my legs. i slowly slide my sweatpants off looking down at the perfect canvas for my red paint. after i sit on the edge of the bathtub, i get my blade twirling it between my fingers thinking that if somebody would've just been here for me and loved me and appreciated me, i wouldn't be a a canvas, i wouldn't be sad, i wouldn't long for somebody to hold me and tell me everything is alright.

but i don't have that, i never will have that. the only thing i truly have is my blade and this old boring house. i may have friends, but are they really there? i feel as tho nobody really is. so, i make a large gash across my thigh without thinking about it. it stings but i continue to paint as more red appears, so does a smile on my face. seeing myself like this makes me happy, because this pain i feel is taking away the pain i have in my heart. i hear my phone start to ring, i immediately jump up from my seated position on the tub. the crimson liquid dripping from the fresh cuts. looking at my phone i see it's michael calling. "hello?" i answer, a small crack in my voice. "hey maddie, i was just wondering why you said no to hanging out with the boys and i." he said a bit of worry in his voice. "i uh, am uh, just not feeling well tonight." i lie. "i can come over if you'd like? i would be by myself, i can bring you some snacks or something, watch a movie maybe. and you can't forget cuddles!" he says. i think for a moment. realizing that i was longing for somebody to be there for me, somebody to do things with me willingly. but michael has been here this whole entire time. "yes mikey, i would love that." i respond quickly hanging up the phone, texting him to come over as soon as he can. i run to the bathroom to wash my legs from the red. it took me a couple of minutes to get it off, but i then wrapped some bandages over the cuts and slid my sweats back on. i then heard a knock at the door, i open it to see michael with a bag of chips and a bottle of soda. "hey maddie." he looks at my face, examining it. "have you been crying?" he says worried. shit, he can't know about the cuts, he can't know. "n-no." i say stuttering. "yes you have." michael walks in setting the chips and soda down onto my counter, walking towards me. he pulls me into his arms, the warmth radiating off of him. "michael im so sorry." i say starting to sob. "why babe?" he starts to rub my back in circles still holding me. "because i always thought i had nobody there for me, but all along you were here. and i've been making bad choices to use myself as a canvas for the color red." he stares at me for a few seconds before realizing what i was trying to say. "babe no. im here for you okay? i always will. maddie i love so much words cannot explain okay?" i look up at him with the tears still rolling down my rosy cheeks, he takes the sleeve of his sweater wiping them away. "i love you michael." you say cuddling your head into his chest. the both of you walk to your couch, lay down and cuddle. you then realize how you never really knew how much you were loved.

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i hope you liked your imagine! it was sad yet ended happy which is good. thank you for waiting also :))

macy x