sad/dark 5sos imagines

broken things can be loved // luke imagine for lissy

this imagine made me cry while writing it so i really hope you enjoy it :)) also to make you cry more lol luke's cover of drop in the ocean is above ;))

*SMALL TRIGGER WARNING: THERE IS MENTIONS OF SELF HARM IN THIS SO DON'T READ IF YOU'RE TRIGGERED BY IT*

also, i don't know much about cancer so the things i say in this are probably incorrect but im not a doctor or anything so excuse that. 

-

lissy pov.

"lissy!" you heard luke yell from your bedroom. you rushed up the stairs to see what the commotion was about. "yes baby?" i say peaking into the room. "i need help, my breathing tank isn't working very well." he says frustrated as he trys to shove the two small tubes back into his nose. you see, luke had cancer. thyroid cancer to be exact. he could die at any given moment but heaven seemed to be just fine without him. they didn't need him any time soon, i hoped. i fixed it for him and he was okay again. "there you go, perfect." i say kissing his nose. "hey lissy." luke says quietly looking at me. "yes luke?" i say back admiring his perfect features. "what will happen when i die?" he whispers. i think for a minute. what will happen? my heart will be broken is one factor and my life would never be the same again if i couldn't hear his cute little laugh or see his beautiful smile or have him share his thoughts to me while we both lay in bed at night. "i wouldn't be the same." i whisper back stroking my finger along his smooth pale skin. "but don't worry about death sunshine, everything will be okay." i continue, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. "okay." he whispers, a small tear starting to form in his eye. "i just don't want to leave you behind. i want us to die together, i want to accomplish great things with you lissy, i want to have a child with you and watch you walk down the isle. i love you lissy and i don't want to die because i want to spend as much time as i can with you." he says his cheeks turning a light crimson color as more tears form in his ocean blue eyes. "shhh baby. we will do all of those things i promise you. i'll never leave your side. i love you too luke, more than anything." i say back leaning my head into the crook of his neck, placing a kiss on his collar bone. i stay in that position for a while until he speaks up. "you wanna watch a movie?" "of course i do!" i say excitedly grabbing his hand and the two of us walk down stairs into the living room.

during the movie we barely even watched it, all we did was talk, cuddle and make out. i loved spending time with luke, it was probably my favorite thing to do. he was so interesting. there were so many things about him that i never knew and i could listen to him talk for hours. the fact that he had cancer never got in the way of how i felt about him. in his past, the cancer always turned girls away. they didn't want to get attached to a boy who could die at any given moment. but, i was willing to take that chance for him because he was still one of the best things that has happened to me, and i will never regret letting him be such a big part of my life. we fell asleep on each other while the movie was still going. we both slept there for the rest of the night and i thought about how much i loved this boy.

//3 months later//

luke is weak. weaker than he's ever been. he hasn't left his bed in nearly 2 months. he can't do anything anymore, a simple task like going to the bathroom is difficult for him. my poor baby is hurting and i promised him that everything would be okay. i broke my promise. "lissy! come lay with me im sad." he yelled from upstairs. i ran up the stairs and into our bedroom. i slid into the bed beside him. "hi." i whispered. he smiled weakly at me before responding with hi back. "you're so beautiful lissy." i look up at him smiling. "and you're so handsome luke." i kiss his neck softly. we lay in silence as his arm is wrapped around me pulling me in. i lay and think. i don't know what i would do without this boy, he's my world. i've never met someone who has been more than willing to give me their all and has done so much for me. i've never had such a strong feeling for someone and when i really come to think of it, he's all i have. luke is the only person who i can trust completely and that will always be there for me when I need someone the most. i love him and i will always love him till the day i die. "i love you." i say looking at him. "i love you." he says back hugging me closer. a tear falls from my eye thinking about how broken i would be if he ever left my side. "you mean so much to me luke, and i really hope you get stronger and better soon so we can do all the things you've ever dreamed of." i speak softly, bringing my hand up to run my thumb across his rosy cheeks. his lips turned upward into a lazy smile, his eyes welling up with tears. it breaks my heart to see him in this state of being sick. he's gone through so much in his life time that i hate to see him go through more. before i met luke, he was a broken boy. he'd gone through depression because of his cancer, he'd spend endless amounts of nights where he'd cry himself to sleep after putting little cuts on his beautiful wrists. he didn't do it anymore thankfully, but he still went through lots and i hated seeing him in pain.  we sat in silence for a while until we both fell asleep, our breathing in sync, our hearts beating as one. 

I awoke in the middle of the night to hear noises downstairs and a few grunts. I felt the bed beside me to feel that luke was gone. I immediately got out of bed and rushed downstairs to see luke struggling to pour himself a glass of water. "luke! baby what are you doing?" i say worriedly, rushing over to his weak frame. "i wanted water and i didn't want to wake you up. you were sleeping so peacefully." he says in a sad tone leaning up against me a bit. "luke, i don't care if im woken up, if you want something just tell me next time okay?" i say calmly. he nods his head and suddenly falls to the ground. "baby? is everything alright?" i say in a worried tone trying to help him up but only being able to put in head in my lap. he starts to cry and i bring him closer into me so his torso is in my arms, his legs curled up to his body. i rub his head softly, "everything is okay baby shhh." i say softly holding him tight. his sobs become louder and he starts coughing and wheezing. i make sure his breathing tubes are okay and aren't detached from the air tank. "lissy im dying, i can feel it." he says sobbing into my shoulder. "no you aren't you're going to be okay everything will be okay. i'll call the ambulance now." i say starting to get up. "no, i want you to hold me. im going to die lissy i know it. it's my time babe." he says sadly, bringing me back down so i can hold him again. "luke! i have to help you" my voice cracks from tears beginning to rush down my face. he shakes his head and tells me not to bother. "fine." i say, bringing him close into me, running my hands through his hair and rubbing circles onto his back." he looks up at me and kisses me neck. "i wanna say thank you, not just for being in my life and sticking around, but thank you for reminding me that even broken things can be loved." he said tears falling down his rosy red cheeks. "i love you." he whispered to me. i smiled at him kissing his cheek. "i love you more." i reply and as i feel his chest heaving up and down, it starts to slow down. a dull looking coming onto his face. "i love you most." his hand that's interlocked with mine loosens and a large breath exhaling from his mouth. "luke?" i whisper tears streaming down my face. i check his pulse on his neck and i feel nothing. i hold onto him tightly as i sob until my head hurts, and even then i don't stop. "you can't be gone luke, you can't be." i say starting to shake him a bit my eyes blurry from the tears. i lay on the kitchen floor with his cold body for hours alone, not wanting to let go of the only thing i ever called home. 

//end//