The Demon Next Door

Epilogue

"I'm so sorry for your loss. He wanted me to give this to you."

"J-Jongin's gone?! But I was away for fifteen minutes! How can he be—"

"I'm very sorry, Kyungsoo. Please take this. I believe he said that it's for you and your daughters."

"J-Jongin..."

'To: Kyungsoo and my two little girls. Do not open until the day that daddy's gone.

I'll start with my darlings;

my two little starswho I never thought'd comeafter what your daddies had beenthrough so far,but there you two were liketwo little fairies;two bundles of joy that werenot so easy to carry.

I savored the day when youfirst thought to talk,both yelling 'daddy' in chorus—and the day that you walked!Parading to armsoutstretched to youlike shooting stars flying in the night skywould do.

And do you rememberthe day of the floodof tears when you both fellinto a puddle of mudat the bus stop on the first day of schooland ruined your dresses in thedirt-stricken pool?I wiped your tears as Daddy Soo scrambledto compose new outfits with nothing more than a gamble.

And then the years passed 'tilyou took no more busand we were handing you car keyswith hearts filled with trust.You both vanished to the collegewhere your daddies both wentand came back with storiesof how your time there was well spent.And then we walked you down the aisle—one in spring and the other in fall—and I came to realizewe were no longer the main men in your lives at all.

You grew up so fastin the blink of an eyeand I didn't have timeto kiss my little babies goodbye.Keep growing brighter, my stars.My two Haley's comets.You're unique, though you're twins;to you, poets sing sonnets.This song's for you,from your late old man.Thank you for making methe best dad that I can.

And now you, Soo. I know you're sick of my poems by now, so I won't make you go through them again.Obviously, by the time you read this, I'll probably be gone. I started writing this when the girls were born and decided that I would edit it along the way. That's why it's in all different pen colors. I hope that the rainbow doesn't annoy you.

Who knew I'd actually live to see everything I wrote down in the poem? I can't believe I lived so long. 64 years. The doctors never thought I'd go past 25. No college, no family; nothing. But you sought to help me thrive and kept believing in me. In us. No matter what shit life through our way.

I'm finishing this letter now because I can feel my internal clocking ticking. The hands are slowing down as they dance over the face. You're in the cafeteria getting me something to eat. I don't think you'll come back to see me able to slurp up the soup that I asked for or to get it down. I purposely asked for it—they take forever to make it—because I don't want you to come back to see me taking my last breath. My fingers hurt writing this. The nurse is watching me because she knows that I'm using all of my strength to complete this. I told her about this letter a while ago, and she agreed to give it to you. But that's not important right now. So don't cry. Don't get tears on this letter.

Let's start with the obvious: I love you. Notice the present tense of that statement. I love you as I'm writing this and I'll love you even when I'm buried underground. I'll love you forever and ever, and when we meet again, I'll love you even then. I'll wait for you wherever I go deeply in love. You lit up my life from the moment we met. You steered me down the right path when I was about to cross a line that would've never gotten me to where I am today. I don't think I'd even be able to write this well if it weren't for you getting me back on track. Thank you for correcting all of my spelling errors over the years.

I love you for that. I love you for saving me.

Every second I spent with you was one that I cherished. Even if times were rough, I kept it all sacred. I hid it in a locket that I kept safe in my heart. You broke me tons of times and put me back together. I tore you to pieces then taped you into one artwork. Our fights made us stronger until we became invincible, and even my disease couldn't destroy the destiny we'd created together. Every promise that we made to each other came true.

I love you for that. For giving me a future.

Oh God, Kyungsoo. You were never just another trinket that I pressed into bed for fun. I hope I've done enough in my life to make you understand that. Everything I ever did was for you. I wanted to repay you for everything. I wished that our first meeting could have gone on forever because I loved you from the start. It didn't seem like it, but I did. Thanks for scratching my motorcycle. Thanks for tolerating everything that I threw at you, from the cigarettes to the alcohol. Thank you for suffering with me. Thank you for suffering for me. Thank you for taking this demon and going against every rule in the book to make him into an angel. If I keep saying thank you for all of the things that you've done, I'll have to cut down every tree in the world to have enough paper.

But the bottom line is that I adore youfor being my soulmate and my very best friend.And screw it, I'm rhyming:I love you, my egghead.'

"Is Daddy gone?"
"No, he's here. He's here."