The Demon Next Door

5

When Kyungsoo was in the sixth grade, his English teacher made his class read The Catcher In The Rye.

It was a pretty hard book for eleven and twelve year olds to read. Not that Kyungsoo in particular had any problems with the book; he understood almost every word even though it was in a foreign language.

The biggest theme in the book, Kyungsoo remembered, was the tension between innocence and experience. And Holden, the protagonist, wanted to preserve the innocence children possessed by stopping them from leaping into adulthood. He wanted to be the catcher in the rye.

Having Jongin's lips so close to his, Kyungsoo wondered whether or not he would let Holden Caulfield catch him. Would he let the other pull him back into childhood, or jump off the cliff that Holden was trying to protect him from?

Jongin would be a terrible catcher in the rye. He wouldn't be doing any catching. He'd be pushing Kyungsoo off the cliff. And that was exactly what Kyungsoo felt he was doing.

He couldn't sleep at all after Jongin left. All he could think about were those lips that had been so dangerously close to his own. Though they belonged to a smoker and drunkard, they had looked so soft and alluring.

Kyungsoo felt as though he'd lost something. He had been so close to having a kiss with Jongin. Maybe if he'd made a move, he wouldn't be thinking so much about the lips he hadn't felt on his own. All of his 'what if's wouldn't exist.

He bashed himself for not going for it. He should have taken a step back, then made a huge leap from the field of rye off of the cliff. If he wanted something like a kiss, he was going to have to take a chance like that.

He lay awake thinking for hours just about that.

This was the second sleepless night because of Jongin. Kyungsoo was sure he was going to have to inject coffee into himself through a syringe to stay awake during school.

He rolled around, hugging his pillow to his chest. He pretended it was Jongin, and once or twice, even kissed the small white cushion for his head.

There was something about the younger that made Kyungsoo feel drawn to him. It wasn't the whole 'bad boy' act, though that compensated for most of it. There was something else, too.

Jongin just seemed... different. Though he was setting himself up for a very much failing life when it came to career, he still had some brains and knowledge. Not the sharpest needle in the hay stack, but still pointy enough to puncture skin.

He seemed as stuck between innocence and adulthood as Kyungsoo was. However, the president was sure that accounted for Jongin's mental state. His physical innocence was probably already long gone.

Kyungsoo sat up in bed with his pillow, his shoulders slumping. His head turned to look at the awards hanging on his wall. There wasn't one hint of 'wall' anywhere; the entire thing was covered in certificates and trophies.

Kyungsoo used to care about things like that. He'd always gotten so jealous when someone won an award that he thought was meant for him. But now, after meeting Jongin, he wouldn't give a hoot if he didn't win anything.

This act of simply 'not caring' made Kyungsoo feel relieved. It was like the weight of expectation was lifted off of his shoulders. He could be as free off the leash as Jongin was.

The only thing that Kyungsoo did want was to win something related to singing. Jongin had seemed to take quite an interest in that. Maybe Kyungsoo should start up singing again.

Kyungsoo clutched the pillow tightly to his chest. Jongin this. Jongin that. Jongin was fucking with his mind, and he wasn't even in the room.

Kyungsoo felt brainwashed, and he liked it. He liked following Jongin's repertoire like the younger was some sort of leader. He liked taking the same steps.