Final ride

Loving yourself

I sat in the room laying down on the bed. trying to figure out what I did wrong. What I do that I deserve this. All I ever did was love that man. Love that man with everything in me. I gave my body , I made love to him whenever he wanted wherever he wanted. I gave him my sprirt to him I prayed for him all the time. I could just be laying on his chest and pray for forgivness for things me and him have done. I gave birth to two children, two people walking aroiund with our DNA in them. I gave him my smile I gave him my laugh I gave him my tears. I gave him...I gave him,

I heard my phone vibrate on the floor for the hundredth time since I left. I left because I had to think about some things. I didn't want my kids to see their parents arguing like I saw mine. I never wanted my kids to be rasied in separate houses. Like I did. I never wanted my kids to not believe in love like I did . its funny because all the things that I didn't want are coming true against my own will. I rasied up and ran my hands through my hair , wiping my tears. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. I looked up in the bathrrom and looked up at the mirror. I wiped my hand on it so I could clearly see myself. all I saw was a broken woman with no way in turing back.

Tyler: Why

The question that I ask myself is why

Tyler: Why do you beat yourself up

because you had the courage to love

gave all of yourself in hopes that he was the one

Why do you beat yourself up

When it was his choice to be unfaithful

His choice to hurt you

Why do you beat yourself up

Knowing that you had done everything for him

supported him, comforted him,

loved him more than you loved yourself

Why after his lies and deceit

do you still love him? and want him to love you

Why after the repeat of hurt and trust being lost

do you think that he deserves a love as pure as yours

Why do you beat yourself up

over what you could have done better

when you know deep down there was nothing

What makes you search for answers as to why

when they will not change the past

Nor mend your broken heart

Why when a man decides to cheat do we blame ourselves?

why does it make us question every little detail about who we are

Make us think that we are not worthy of love

Why when a man cheats do we still long for him to change

Realize how wrong he was, and fall in love with us again

Why do you beat yourself up

When you deserve more

When all that you have done is loved someone completely

Give yourself time and the pain will subside

and the mourning will cease

You will see that you are still you

Still wonderful, beautiful you

Nothing has changed except your experience in love

And your determination to share love with another

As you can never truly love someone until you learn to love yourself

Yeah you have to love yourself tyler first thing first. You have to love yourself.