Destiel One Shots

Thoughts Don't Fade

Cas likes the smell of Dean. Not in a creepy way - just...whenever he gets a hint of it, it's more like a piece of home. Something that connects him to comfort. The musk, whisky and sundown, leather and petrichor, autumn leaves and fire and woodland.

When Cas looks at Dean he doesn't just see the empty shell of a man, a broken hunter, daddy's little blunt instrument, all the profanities and names called by the maturely inferior that Dean has called himself in times of depression. He doesn't see someone who thinks of themselves as so low and torturous, deserving of death and nothing but fear imprinted in his voice and name.

The minute he touched Dean's soul, electricity shot up his being. He felt dizzy, and can't chalk it up to the conditions in the pit, because that was different. Within the pass of a comet, he's back in heaven, without that spark of freedom.

Cas does see someone with potential, someone so selfless he'd sacrifice himself over and over through torture of the mind, soul and body. And he could turn around Gods with words that would remain nothing but a whisper to himself; comforting and loving mutterings to those he feels strongly about torn away by the wind but seared into the hearts of those around. A man who leaves behind terror but even more good will, safety and memories.

Cas sees a burning sun shimmering in the distance of his soul, so pure and white, unclouded and wrapped with the connections he's made with family - blood or not - and they're so beautiful, so intricately made and Cas is proud.

Cas looks at Dean like he's his universe.
Dean's soul is untainted, despite all the bad that he has gone through. Castiel wishes he were half as strong.

So when they're standing side by side in the Bunker, it's difficult not to stare.

Cas thinks a lot about Dean in those few, precious moments they get alone. Even if it's a million in one second or one though spread for the entire time they're together.

Today he thinks of a few.

Why do you push me away and pull me back in within the span of the same sentence? as Dean talks to him about their plans.

You're going to die one day. And you will leave me behind as Dean smiles at him.

If they want to take you, let them come. I will destroy them when Dean pinches the bridge of his nose and hugs himself with the other arm.

You look so tired Cas thinks as Dean looks up to the ceiling, his sleep deprived eyes finally showing in an unusual, non-glistening way.

Let me hold you. Let me hold you. Please.

Cas doesn't know what to do. Or rather, he does but it frightened his actions would scare off the most amazing, beautiful friend he's ever had. Ever will have.

What he doesn't know is Dean is standing next to him, thoughts whirling around, all begging and crying out to Cas to hold him also.

He's too scared to make the first move but is not an idiot. He's seen the way Cas looks at him. And recently he's become conscious that it's the same way he looks right back at him.

Cas is everything and anything he ever needed or wanted and more. So fucking much more that Dean hugs up to himself at night, sobbing softly into the pillow and wondering what he did to deserve Castiel in his life. And why he couldn't just talk to him about what they had.