*I will be victorious. But can i win?~[Katsu!]~(Deidara Love Story)*part1

*I will be victorious. But can I win?~[Katsu!]~(Deidara Love Story)*17*

Chapter 17

(Time Skip)

I was standing in the field, waiting for the battles to finish. I had explained to Kakashi before we arrived at the Akatsuki hide out that I may not be able to with stand the sight of seeing my old partners.

I explained to him that it was just too much to deal with. He didn’t question me. All he said was keep an eye out for any other unnecessary enemy’s arrivals of any kind.

I didn’t argue with him or anything, instead I made my way to a field that he said he would meet up with me at.

I began to pace back and forth, waiting for the others. I didn’t exactly want to hear that they defeated the other two. Well I guess I couldn’t really care less about Sasori because he means nothing to me, but if I were to hear that Deidara was dead, I don’t know what I would do.

I soon heard the others arrivals as they approached me. I nodded my head at them as I saw them laying Gaara on the ground carefully. His eyes were closed and he had cracks on his face from his ‘ultimate defense’.

I stood in a spot and watched as Sakura looked him over. Her eyes fell down as she stood up, too ashamed to face Naruto to tell him Gaara has no hope to survive. He was dead. Nothing that anyone did, say, or tried would bring him back.

“What a shame…” I muttered, closing my eyes to pay my respect to him.

“Not quite yet.” Lady Chiyo says, voice above a whisper, walking over to Gaara.

I turned to Kakashi and ask, “What happened to the enemies?”

“They were defeated.” He says, voice monotone.

I sighed and walked away from the group. Eyes followed me, but no one said anything. I wouldn’t allow them to see me cry. No matter what, I never cried. I found it as a weakness in myself. So why am I crying over a guy I hardly knew?

Is this what people call love? Or is this just a small crush? Would I really cry over a guy I hardly knew? I would never cry over Orochimaru. I didn’t mourn my clan’s death. So why a simple guy I didn’t know all to well?

Tears slipped down my face. They were unfamiliar to me. They were… warm. It was strange. I always thought tears would be cold since you were in pain. But they were warm, as if trying to make you feel better. Trying to comfort you in the little way that they could.

I kept my sobs silent as tears continuously slid down my cheeks to my chin. I walked and walked and didn’t stop. I couldn’t. I had no goals in mind. I had nothing to look foreword to or anything I could think of doing.

Dreams were crushed. Hopes were ruined. Nothing mattered anymore. Not me or my health or my happiness.

The truth is Deidara was really the only person who could make me smile so easily. He was the first guy I ever felt nervous around or blushed around. He lent me his cloak for Christ’s sake!

Anger began to build up in me next. How could I have been such a fool to fall for someone like you?! What good would you have been for me? You would have broken me anyways. You used me, played me, and broke me. What fair treatment is that?!

“Life is not always fair.” I mumble almost silently to myself, my lips hardly moving at all.

I soon found myself in trees, still walking. I ignored the fact that I had trailed off from the group and continued walking, lost in thought.

What point was there of going back to the group? To see Gaara dead? Lady Chiyo is dying as well. Even I could see that.

There was no reason for me to try. To do anything. Life was pointless. We find that one special someone, you’re in love, they die, and you’re miserable and live alone until you also die.