Welcome To The Family (Avenged Sevenfold)

Chapter 36

Alexandria's POV

I woke up early, I hadn't slept well, well because it was Monday and I had a million things running through my head, a million things that I wanted to speak to Karen about. My only problem was, I wasn't sure how to talk to her about it, but I was hoping once we there I would be given an opportunity to raise my problems. Or not. If not I was screwed. I didn't know what I was going to do and I was managing to work myself up into quite a state about.

"Morning." Matt said, walking into the kitchen. I jumped, slopping coffee over the edge of my cup. "Oh , damn, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I said grabbing a cloth and wiping up my mess.

"So you have an appointment this morning right?" He asked.

I nodded. "I do."

"Are you coming to the studio after?" He asked.

I looked at him. I was planning on it, but what if he didn't want me too, what if he'd had enough of me?

"I'm hoping you are." He murmured, pulling me into his arms.

I smiled up at him and he kissed me softly. "Of course I am." I whispered.

"Good."

"I have to go." I told him as he kissed me again. "But I'll see you when I get there."

"Okay." He said smiling. "I'll see you then."

I grabbed my key's, smiling as I walked out of the house. When I was with Matt I didn't worry, but as soon as we were apart I kept second guessing everything. I needed to stop it, I was only causing myself stress.

I arrived at Karen's office a little early but she was waiting for me and we went straight into her office.

"So." She said sitting down and looking at me. "How was your weekend?"

"Oh." I said fidgeting. "Okay."

"Okay?" She asked, leaning forward a little. "Only okay, what about what we talked about on Thursday, you know, so what happened? Did you kiss him?"

I couldn't help it, I started blushing. "I did."

She smiled. "And?"

"And." I was going to word vomit. "And it was wonderful, see we had a dinner party at my friends Zack's house and I when I showed up Matt had a date, so I just figured that maybe he didn't like me after all but then on Saturday he started talking to me again, and he really is a nice guy, I mean I like him a lot." She raised her eyebrows at me. "And yeah so anyway I kissed him." I finished quickly.

"I'm guessing Matt didn't object?"

I shook my head. "No, he didn't." I couldn't help but smile.

"What else did you do?" She asked.

"Well we went to lunch on Saturday, which was okay, except for the crowd and yesterday we hung around home, he's trying to teach me to play one of his games." I explained. "I'm not very good at it."

"Did you do anything else?" She asked.

I bit my lip. "No." I snapped. "we did not have sex."

"Alex." She said looking shocked. "I didn't mean that."

"Sorry."

"Obviously this is a problem." She said. "Alex."

"Ugh." I groaned. "He's going to want to have sex, I just know it and I don't think that I can do it, I really don't."

"Alex, calm down." She said softly. "For starters, you've been together, what, two day's. I wouldn't have expected you to have slept together yet and as for your fear of sex, well let's try and deal with it."

"I just feel like it's the elephant in the room." I told her. "When I'm with him I just keep thinking about trying to have sex and it just makes me upset."

"Alex." she said. "You're just putting too much thought into this, geez, just enjoy the romance for a bit, but in saying that sex can be romantic."

"Have you seen him?" I asked. "He has women throwing themselves at him, he's hardly going to wait around for me to get over myself."

"Well Alex." She said sitting back and smiling. "I must say we're making progress."

We were? "How?"

"You're actually recognising that sex is an important part of a relationship." She said smiling. "And you're entertaining thoughts of having sex with Matthew." She sat forward. "And when I said enjoy the romance, well sex can be a part of that."

"Fuck." I yelled, and she looked at me shocked. "I don't see how. Sex is disgusting and just yuck, how can it be romantic? I just don't get it."

"Alex, Brandon made you hate sex." She said softly. "And maybe Matthew can teach you how to enjoy it." She stood up, walking to a cupboard. "Here." She said walking back over with some books. "Borrow these, read them, read them with Matt, he knows what you're going through Alex, don't be afraid to talk to him about it."

She handed me the books, but I didn't dare look at them, I could only imagine what they were about. "Okay." I lied. There was no way I was speaking to Matt about this, no way.

"I want you to read those Alex, they may be very useful." She said standing up. "And on Wednesday we might talk about your sexual experiences with Brandon. I know they weren't pleasant but maybe talking about it will help a little."

I shrugged. I couldn't see how any of this could help. "Okay."

I headed to the door with a promise to see her on Wednesday and I walked back to my car feeling more than a little disappointed. She hadn't really helped, she hadn't answered any of my questions.

I threw the books on the seat next to me and went a got a large coffee. I needed a shit load of caffeine to calm myself down, then I headed over to the studio.

As I pulled up out the front I stopped the car and picked up the books, looking at them. Jesus. Was she serious? One was full of people in all sorts of sexual positions, another one was about discovering the joy of sex and the other one was entitled. 'Rediscovering Your Body After Rape.'

Was she serious, I thought throwing them back onto the seat. I was supposed to read those?

I grabbed my bag and headed into the studio. I wanted to see Matt, my mood was down and I knew that seeing him would pick me up, but as I entered my mood plummeted even more.

The girl he'd taken on a date was here, at the studio, watching Matt recording something. What was going on? I was just so confused. I really was.