**TRIGGER WARNING**
Words threaten to bubble over like previously resting lava,
The frustration and pain courses through veins I've long ignored.
Emptiness consumes everything like darkness after the sun fades,
It's all too confusing, and so devastating in ways that can scarcely be described.
No amount of drugs can soothe me.
No amount of pain has eased this fragile heart.
Silence is slowly devouring the will to keep fighting,
Yet I still do.
I walk through the valley not living, and not yet dead,
Holding on to the notion that things are going to change soon.
Things are going to get better.
And as the blood leaves my body from a spot deep below my skin I smile,
The tears that fall are of relief, something I haven't felt in a while.
I let the numbness set in again, I need it's calm embrace,
I need the ability to not care so I can continue on.
Years of hard work resisting temptation, and fighting against my demons,
It stopped in this moment.
Resilience, I will do what I have to, to survive every time.
I will put myself in harms way,
I will drown myself the way I used to.
I will manage the only way I know how.
I may loose every battle, but I've won the war.
I know what I need to do to get by, and I have the strength to admit I'm weak.
Half dead, I'll still survive.
A ghost of who I was becoming.
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Freeing Myself
De TodoThe best way for me to write is unrestricted. This little Journal of sorts is the way to do that. You may see some parts of my personal life. You may laugh. You may cry. What is life without the roller-coaster ride though? All bets are off. Read at...
