It was a dark stormy day, Fazbear's Family Diner was packed with hyperactive children. All the animatronics were were singing their hearts out an.....
Freddy: Can you just cut to the chase
Springtrap: That reminds meh of a song..... *thinks of song*
Me: *cries* But I wanted to set the scene
Freddy: NO! That is a very bad thing to do
*policemen come in*
Policeman 1: You have committed a very bad crime
Policeman 2: We are very ashamed
Springtrap: It's Halloween at Freddys all the guests have arrived. Everyone's dying to meet you so won't you spend the night
*Balloon Boy waddles in* Fuck *looks at police* *runs away*
Policeman 1: Ohh he is the one we want *runs after balloon boy*
Balloon Boy: You will never get meh
Policeman 1: Yes we will
Balloon Boy: Oh no you won't
Policeman 1: Oh yes we will
Springtrap: I wanna play this song on piano *goes to piano* *plays Halloween at Freddys*
*Marionette floats in*
Marionette: Can you just put this on my music box
Springtrap: No
Marionette: Aww *cries*
*Balloon Boy falls into a wall* *Freddy falls out of the wall* *Policeman 1 arrests Baloon Boy*
Freddy: Why did you break the wall you stupid fuckboy turd pie
Balloon Boy: It was the policeman
*Freddy eats the policeman* *Policeman 1 falls out of Freddys anal*
Policeman 1: Oooh I like big butts and I cannot lie I want to be a flowerpot and live by the sea as a segull
Freddy: Why did you eat my weed from my belly
Policeman 1: I want to be hit with kids *does stripper dance for Freddy*
Freddy: Yess *throws kids from his suit at the policeman*
Policeman 1: Urgh I'm gonna cum
Freddy: WAIT *hands packet of condoms*
Mike: *from the office* But I thought you only gave me and Jeremy condoms
Freddy: I apologise
Mike: Good
Marionette: Can I leave now
Springtrap: But my music for you, I thought what we had was real
Marionette: I'm sorry, I have a new love
Springtrap: Nooooo *cries* *kills Marionettes lover*
Marionette: Noooo *cries* *takes Springtrap to Prize Corner* *has sex*
Freddy: Noooo I failed my life goal *eats the condoms*
*Springtrap makes Marionette pregnant* *his willy gets stuck in her suit* *Marionette saws Springtraps willy off*
Policeman 2: Wut....
Me: I apologise *comforts him*
Policeman 2: I came here as a kid and now my life has been ruined *cries*
Springtrap: *flips piano* Do you wanna get in my suit and join purple guy
Policeman 2: Yes please *is eaten by Springtrap*
Purple Guy: Oh hi
Policeman 2: I think I am now gay
*sex happens*
Springtrap: Plez don't give birth inside meh
Purple Guy: ..........
Policeman 2: ...........
*Springtrap gives birth to a wild Pikachu*
Policeman 1: Pikachu I choose you *grabs pokeball* *falls inside pokeball* *dies*
Balloon Boy: Where is senpai
Mangle: *flys into room* You seen senpai
Balloon Boy: Yes
*Foxy runs away and falls into a rabbit hole*
Me: Well I was supposed to tell the story of the Bite of 87
Foxy: I will bite a rabbit for you
Me: Thanks
Mangle: But senpoo why won't you do stuff for meh
Foxy: I don't like you
*Mangle cries*
So whilst being deep inside the hole, Foxy the Pirate got hungry and bit a rabbit...
Me: I will try to tell you the real story soon
Say goodbye to the readers
All the animatronics: Bye
*Chica runs into the room with pizza*
Chica: BYEEEE *throws pizza at reader*
Bonnie: Urgh *facepalms*
*closes book*
Freddy: * falls through ceiling* Don't forget kids
Kids: What
Freddy: SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY
*all the parents facepalm*
YOU ARE READING
Five Nights At Freddys · The Chronicles Of A Spoof
Hayran KurguThis is going to be a whitish type of book, containing many humorous fnaf themed situations.
