I couldn’t believe I did that, I knew he wouldn’t feel the same way, I figured he wouldn’t want to deal with me right now so I murmur a sorry before walking away. “WAIT JAMIE”, I stopped in my path, I heard matt walk up to me, and wrap his arms around me in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry Matt, I don’t want to split you and Carly, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore”… “Jamie, how long?” “Since 2011, I always wanted to say something but I couldn’t” .
Matt held his breath for a while before replying “Jamie, I love you to, but only as a younger sister, I’m sorry” As soon as Matt said that I felt my heart drop and I realised Carly was right. “Well, I gotta put my books away; I’ll see you on the mat okay?” “Jamie…” “No Matt, its fine I’m a big girl” I smile before walking away trying to hold all of these stupid feelings in.
God Jamie, why did you even think he would feel the same way, he loves Carly, always somebody else, never me. I try to calm myself down before I walk out onto the mat and join my team. When I get there Matt is talking to Brian in a hushed, quickened tone. They both shared quick glances at me which made me feel embarrassed.
I honestly wanted the gym to split open and swallow me right now. My stunts weren’t hitting and every time I fell, I landed on Matt who tried to catch me each time. The next time it happened Matt tried to keep me up by holding onto my ankle which caused it to twist and break. I fell to the ground, grasping my ankle like no tomorrow, and trying to hold in tears. I had never experienced pain like that before and had no idea what was happening.
The pain was getting unbearable; my vision was starting to go funny. I vaguely saw my coaches running to me and Matt holding his head with a worried expression. That was all I saw before it all went black. I woke up about 40 minutes later with my ankle in a boot and IV drip connected to my arm. I realised there was someone holding my hand and when I looked up I saw Matt staring at me with worried eyes, and something else I didn’t quite notice. “Thank god your awake Jamers, I’m so sorry when I grabbed your ankle its sprained and its all my fault” Matt looked like he wanted to cry, so I grabbed his hand and squeezed tightly “It’s fine stop worrying” I smiled at him while saying it. “Don’t feel responsible, you tried to keep me up, while I wobbled my way up”.
“I’m just glad your okay” “Yeah me to Matty” I smiled. The other 30 minutes I spent in hospital, I talked to Matt about everything that had happened. It took 10 minutes but he finally mentioned why I liked him. I felt the need to explain so I decided to give him this whole massive speech that went along the lines of “You’re my best friend, you always believe in me, you’re an amazing person not just on the inside, you never give up and you have been my rock since day 1 and that is why I like you so much Matt, and really how could I not?” when I looked over at Matt, he was crying, “OMG Matty, please tell me there happy tears?” “Of course nobodies ever said that Jamers” “Well it was all true” I murmur so he just picks it up.
When I was released from the hospital, Matt took me to Whataburger and ordered me 3 honey chicken biscuits, which made me hug him for about 20 seconds, because food and I had no limits. Matt and I continued talking until all our food had been eaten and we were ready to go back to my house. It turns out that Matt and I had almost become closer just by me telling him that I liked him. When we got back Matt, like the gentleman he was carried me up the stairs and dropped me on my bed and snuggled into my stomach.
I felt butterflies rise in my stomach and my heart start thumping so loudly, I thought the neighbours would hear it. “Matt, my stomach isn’t exactly the most comfortable pillow” “It is to me” matt replied before he started tracing my abs, which of course made me shiver. “Do I make your nervous Jamie?” “Obviously Matt, especially when you do that anyway get to sleep Matty” “I won’t let this go Jamie, anyway good night boo” Matt replied while kissing my check and curling into my blanket and pillows…
As I curled up into Matt, I thought about everything, from how well he handled me telling him that I liked him and what I thought about him. I knew what I felt for Matt was different but all I wanted was for him to feel the same way, was that so hard.
I heard a buzz and leaned over Matt to take a look and see what it was, Carly had texted Matt about where he was and why he'd left practice and not stayed at her's. I wanted to feel gulity but I couldn't bring myself to care. I just wish I was in Carly's position.
Jamie, what am I going to do.....
Hear you go xx
Hope this was alright for y'all xxx
