Well I thought that that went extremely well for what I said. After my little confession I walked away, picked up my bag and called Mom to pick me up. Being alone I began to think, was I really done, It was one fall they happen all the time, but NCA last year that was bad, what if that happens again. Great now I had all these negative thoughts clouding my mind I didn’t realise someone had come and sat next to me. “Jamie what are you even doing out hear?” ah so it was Colton they decided to bring out “Waiting for my mum obviously who else?” “Jamie come back in the gym; and don’t say you don’t want to cheer anymore” “Well you know what Colton; I don’t want to cheer anymore, I screwed up our whole pyramid at NCA and caused them to get injured that were my fault and it isn’t going to happen again!” “Just leave me alone okay, I know what I’m doing” I saw Mom’s car approaching, and as soon as she pulled up I got in with ninja speed so it seemed and she drove off to the one place I could just cry, home.
As soon as we were on the highway though, the questions started… or more like interrogation. Mom asked me what had happened and I told her everything, from the pyramid fall, to the flashbacks of our fall at NCA, and girls coming of crying as well as bases, and I told her that was why I was done with cheer. II couldn’t risk injuring them again. Mom said she understood and then so did Dad, who happened to be listening on the phone. “WOW hey dad, so nice of you to be lurking in the shadows” “Jamie I’m not even in the shadows, I’m in a phone” “OMG same thing” “God, remind me how you are on the honour role still?” “I’m fierce obviously haha” “Okay then, well I’ll see you when you get home, love you ““Okay Dad I love you to”
When we finally got home, Dad had cooked an amazing chicken risotto which was making my mouth water. When we were finally seated and had said our evening prayer to God thanking him for this meal, I dug in like no tomorrow. It was the best it has ever been, so much cheese and chicken omg, was it good. “So Jamie, no more cheer athletics for you?” “Well after what I said to Joe, yes dad no more cheer athletics for me” “Well if your sure that what you really want, we can call Joe tonight and confirm it, all I know is that you would never just leave with 2 hours of practice left?” “Look dad, I really don’t know, I’ve got so much crap going on at the moment, I’d rather just not deal with it” “ Well if that’s how you really feel then I’ll give you tomorrow, go to practice and just watch okay?” “Fine”
God that was a long conversation, I rise from the table, and carry myself of to my room, and do all the boring crap I usually do before bed and hop in. I decide to check my phone and see a message from Matt, I delete it without looking at it, even though it hurts I realise that Matt and I are no longer friends, texting isn’t allowed, I think of Matt as I drift of to sleep.
I woke up today at around 8:30 thinking I was late for school, I run to get ready into something school acceptable, which was basically and cheer shirt and leggings… yeah so trendy and cool Jamie. I didn’t bother doing anything with my hair; it was already straight from this morning. I was nearly out the door, when my bro Pat came down and said “Jamie where the fuck are you going, Its Saturday” “Urgh are you serious, I could sleep for longer” “No you couldn’t cause I’m chaperoning you at cheer today haha” “Oh great, yep real great bro” “Hey, it wont be that bad, so come on get your bag and lets go”… “You do realise I’m not actually doing anything today” “Well bring it in case you are doing something”…. Well he had a point; I quickly stuffed my nfinitys, black Nike pros and a sports bra. I met Pat in the car and we left to go to the one place I really didn’t want to be.
I walk into the gym, with Pat holding my hand, and trying to calm me down so I didn’t back out and run all the way home. Which I didn’t think was possible but he did. I walk into the main section and see all of Cheetahs and ew Wildcats warming up as one. Pat and I sat of to the side Cheetahs would be working on, and tried to act like this wasn’t the most awkward thing in the world. After cheetahs went full out once, I heard Matt talking to Gaitlin and say “I miss Jamie, It’s not the same dude”. Aw, Matt now you care, cute because I really don’t. I see him turn to look at me, and start walking towards me at an unsure pace, I just rolled my eyes at that. He was about to say something when I heard the most annoying voice go “ Matty, come hear I want to show you something” urgh Carly of course, Matt started to look unsure of where to go and I just looked at him with a your kidding me right stare and gestured with my hand for him to leave. Which he did haha.
After the enjoyable 3 hours of doing nothing, except watch Carly’s stunts drop every second time she did them, Cheetahs finished for the day. I was on my way to leave when Pat grabbed my hand and said Joe wanted to talk to me. I looked at him and said “I don’t want to”, he gave me the look that said your coming. So why he was practically dragging me to see Joe, my whole friendship group including Pey who was here today were watching what was happening.
“Okay Jamie, what are you doing? Why say you don’t want to do cheer? I’ve taught you for 6 years and you have so much passion it can’t have suddenly gone. So tell me why?” “I’m not causing anymore injuries Joe, my team isn’t the same team I had in 2012, girls are spending to much time trying to become famous cheerleaders their forgetting about the passion and why they cheer, I don’t want to be part of a famous team, I just want to be part of a team that would rather win trophies then sign autographs”. To be honest, Joe looked a little shocked at that confession, and I don’t blame him. He knew what I said was true. “ Okay Jamie, how bout this, I will have a huge discussion with our team about those issues, if you start to believe in yourself and stop thinking everyone that falls is your fault?”
“Fine, I’ll come back, but remember I’m not the sweet, innocent Jamie everybody wants me to be anymore, I’ve changed and grown up okay?” “Yes, Jamie I understand, you can go home now”
Finally, I thought. As I was walking past I saw Carly fall out of yet again another stunt, and yelled out “ Not so perfect now are you Carly” while giving her a sweet smile, which had to be the fakest thing I’ve done for a while. I walked over to where the old gang was and just walked right through the middle to meet pat who was waiting for me in the car. This season would be different, I wasn’t going to worry about making sure the fans thought I was nice, I was going to worry about the team and how good we need to be.
Hope y'all enjoy this one xx
